Student: Hey bruh, can I ansuh?!
Teacher: Yeah, sure… Wait, what did you call me?
Student: Bruh?
Teacher, grining: That made my day!
Nashville, Tennessee
Voice over loudspeaker: Attention members. Will Arthur Sarksian come to the front desk? We found your Speedos.
24 Hour Fitness
Glendale, California
Overheard by: James Jameson
Girl #1: So my mother says our dog is her “little sausage,” so she's started calling him “pork sword.”
Girl #2, laughing: That's got to be awkward!
Girl #1: Tell me about it! The other day my boyfriend thought she was yelling for my dad.
Cape Town
South Africa
Bearded college guy: Yeah, I would have had a much better chance if my last name was, like, “Visigoth,” but I couldn’t, like, lie to her about it at that point, you know?
Madison, Wisconsin
Overheard by: Elizabeth
Drunk guy, walking into bathroom: Hey, you are at my pisser!
Sober guy at urinal: I didn't realize your name was “push to flush.”
Bar
Michigan
Overheard by: I wasn't looking
Aging dork #1: I like Star Trek, but not Star Wars because they never pay attention to physics.
Aging dork #2: William Shatner is a pimp.
Peterson Air Force Base
Colorado
Suit on cell: Wait, while I’ve got you on the phone, what’s your animal spirit name? … Ah, ‘White Wolf’ — of course. All right, see you then.
Coffee shop
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: Baffled Bear
Dude: Yeah, you know how it be. I’ll check ya later. Yo, this is Tylenol, I’m out!
http://ohinmpls.blogspot.com/2006/10/rude-drunk-man-on-number-6-on-cell.html
Overheard by: gee and drew
Girl #1: Vern's breaking down.
Girl #2: Who?
Girl #1: My car.
Girl #2: Oh. I was worried there for a second.
Bellingham, Washington
