New Jersey

Male student, about an exam: What do we have to know about the external parts of the female reproductive system?
Professor: Everything! Not just for the exam, but for yourself! All of you!

Rutgers University
New Jersey

Overheard by: Marina

Big-chested teenage girl: I would hate to date a magician. It would be like, “breasto change-o, I just took your boobs.”

Long Branch, New Jersey

Angry Jersey girl on cell: No, you hung up on me in your manic, crazy way.

Church Tag Sale
New Jersey

Boyfriend: Baby, you have to shave that mustache.
Girlfriend: Shut up! I keep telling you I'm getting it waxed.

New Jersey

Overheard by: Rebecca

Preschool teacher #1: I wouldn't want to spill coffee on those shoes.
Preschool teacher #2: Why not?
Preschool teacher #1: Because they'd get coffee stains on them.

Rumson, New Jersey

Girl to friend: You know what I was thinking? We always say girls who get pregnant are white trash. But I really thought about this, and we have sex. We could get pregnant. You're not white trash!

College
New Jersey

Older woman, picking up a bag of peppermints: I still have candy corn out from Halloween. Is it okay to have peppermints and candy corn out at the same time?
Younger woman: What do I look like, Miss Manners? You've been to my house…you know there's still Easter candy out in my candy dishes. And until that goes, I'm not putting anything else out.
Older woman: Now I understand why your children are crazy.

Grocery Store
Hamilton, New Jersey

Overheard by: Currrly!

Woman in next dressing room: Oh my god, I always forget about my tattoo!

The Gap
Ridgewood, New Jersey

Guy shaking his fist: Damn you, Chuck E. Cheese!

New Jersey

Prof: Do you think that kicking a pregnant woman in the stomach was wrong?
Student: Ummmm… I’m not certain.
Prof: Do you think that what he did was a crime?
[Student pauses for nearly 30 seconds.]Student #2: Dude, he kicked a baby.

Seton Hall Law
Newark, New Jersey