Brunette: Hold up — I just want to grab some turkey.
Redhead: Why?
Brunette: … So I can make a turkey sandwich?
Redhead: Yeah, I know, but we have chicken back home.
Brunette: Uh-huhhh — and I want a turkey sandwich.
Redhead: It’s the same thing.
Brunette: No. No, it’s not.
Redhead: Alright, then what’s the difference?
Brunette: … One’s a fucking turkey.
Long Island Super Market
Long Island, New York
Teen girl #1: You know, I wish we had some sort of pregnancy switch that we can turn on and off at will. That way, when we have one night stands, we can just turn 'em off, and, voila! No baby!
Teen girl #2: We do. They're called diagrams.
Teen girl #3: You mean “diaphragms.”
Teen girl #2: Whatever.
Starbucks
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: Leila
Teen: I couldn't tell if he meant “stop, exclamation point,” “don't, exclamation point,” or if he meant “don't stop, exclamation point.”
Friend: What did you do?
Teen: Look, that handjob wasn't going to finish itself, and I have a reputation, so I had no choice.
Friend: You're a goddamn trooper.
Syracuse Mall
Syracuse, New York
Overheard by: Just Exclaming!
Drunk girl: Sometimes I think I'm an alcoholic, but then I watch Intervention and I realize I'm just a love machine.
Syracuse University, New York
Guy on cell, buying whipped cream, 24-pack of beer, and box of condoms: I am so over that bitch. Yeah, tonight is gonna be great! Finally, a night where I can do whatever I want without her bitching about it. Yeah, come over whenever. And bring some friends.
Grocery store
Syracuse, New York
Whining toddler: Mommy, I want that book!
Yelling mother: You can't read!
Dalton Booksellers
Jefferson Valley, New York
Mother: Honey, do you remember mommy’s friend Denise?
Four-year-old son: Uh-huh.
Mother: Well, mommy has to leave right now, because Denise’s father passed away, and I have to go and tell Denise that I’m sorry.
Four-year-old son: Oh. Did you kill him?
Port Jefferson, New York
Overheard by: arctinus
Guy to another: Why's he bother to wash his clothes, anyway, if he smells that bad and doesn't bother to bathe?
Laundromat
Catskill, New York
Overheard by: Amie
Loud annoying guy, gesturing toward himself: Who has two thumbs and is ready to go? This guy!
Saratoga, New York
Overheard by: Ready to Go
Old man in hospital bed, to family: I've said it once, and I'll say it again. Tigers are the sharks of the land!
Poughkeepsie, New York
