Man: She said that? She has nude pictures on the internet! How can you compare me to her?
Emergency Room
Westchester, New York
Man: She said that? She has nude pictures on the internet! How can you compare me to her?
Emergency Room
Westchester, New York
Seven-year-old daughter, confused: Mommy, why's the play called Murder on the Ides?
Mom: Well, it's about Julius Caesar, a Roman leader. See, in this country, when we don't like our leader anymore, we vote 'em out. But the Romans…
Seven-year-old daughter, excitedly: Oh! Oh! They kill them!!
Colgate University
Madison County, New York
Overheard by: Jake
College girl: Can I have one ticket for the midnight train, going anywhere?
Ticket vendor: (blank stare)
College girl: Not so funny out loud as it is in my head, huh? One ticket to Rome, please!
Amtrak Station
Buffalo-Depew, New York
Ditzy college girl, interrupting class: Do you live in Penn Yan?
Professor: No, I live on Bluff Point.
Ditzy college girl: Oh… Did you know that Sarassin's delivers?
Professor: No, I didn't, but do you mind if I get back to my lecture?
Keuka College
New York
Overheard by: Rachel Bz.
Male student to another, seriously: So you just came in your pants?
Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute
Troy, New York
Eight-year-old boy: Mommy… I can't wait for my day of vengeance to be at hand.
Mother: I know he's unlikable, but there are quieter ways.
Eight-year-old boy, wielding stick in hand: I wanna use this.
Mother: He'll shush up if you put a bow and arrow through his eye.
MTA
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: PatriotAhckt
Middle-aged suit on cell: Yeah… Well, I don't know. (pause) Doesn't she have Alzheimer's? (pause) I don't care if she's your mother. (pause) Yeah, well, maybe she shouldn't be trading your stocks, then.
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: mo
Professor: I invent things too! My great invention is this toast, and you make it in a toaster, and then you stick it in the freezer. And, like, when you want toast, you just put it back in the toaster…
Students: (confused silence)
Professor: Man, no one understands me! (stomps out)
SUNY
Geneseo, New York
Overheard by: Jeni
Girl #1: It’s such a shame. I mean, if only there was some semblance of religious tolerance…
Girl #2: I know. Muslims, Christians, Jews… It’s all the same god, but different rules.
Girl #3: Wait, is a Muslim just a black Jew?
Girl #1: … No. A black Jew is a Jewish person who is black. It’s a different religion.
Girl #3: Oh. Okay. That’s confusing.
Girl #2: No, no, it’s really not.
Hofstra University
Long Island, New York
