Nipples

Fat guy: You wanna see a hot picture?
Girlfriend: Yeah, I wanna see a hot picture.
Fat guy: It’s me with no shirt on… And I was rubbin’ m’nipples.

Columbia High School
Maplewood, New Jersey

Dining hall worker: When I got my nipples pierced I had an orgasm when the guy was doing the left one.
Student: Really? How did that happen?
Dining hall worker: When he clamped it I just told him to keep twisting that shit, and 20 minutes later I had an orgasm. It was a little Chinese man who did it…I bet his little uncircumcised dick was all bonered out and shit.

overheardatyale.com

Overheard by: overheardatyale

(two guys peeing next to each other at the urinals)
Pretty boy #1: I think I have sensitive wrists.
Pretty boy #2: You have sensitive nipples!

Bowling Alley Bathroom
Dayton, Ohio

Overheard by: Liz

Coworker at happy hour: It doesn't matter. I like food, I've got great boobs and people dig me.

Barristers Pub
St. Louis, Missouri

Overheard by: JD

Professor: Say that you were to walk into class, and I was wearing…a red thong.
(students laugh) I'm not done. I also have sequins on my nipples–and my hair is in a red Mohawk. Half of you would turn around and walk out. The other half would think, “Eh, I can always drop the class.”

Santa Rosa Junior College
Santa Rosa, California

Professor: America has a terrible problem with nipples.

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/434095649/lets-just-get-rid-of-them.html

Overheard by: tru dat?

Friend #1: Do you remember when we were little and I used to show the neighbor's boys my boobs so they'd give me candy? Bet you're glad I stopped doing that!
Friend #2: What are you talking about? The only thing that's changed is your form of payment! You just finished telling everyone not two minutes ago how last week you won $200 on amateur's night when you went to the strip club with the guys!

Eau Claire, Wisconsin

Guy: It’s like playing hopscotch with your shirt off and the little kids are like: “Mommy, look at his boobies!” and I’m like: “Yeah. Look at my boobies.”

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/293774936/that-is-a-disturbing-pastime.html

Overheard by: well that’s neat

Young boy: I just wish this bus would come so I can stop thinking about my nipples.

Bus Stop
England

Loud girl to friend: Calm your nipples, bitch!

Huntington, New York

Overheard by: Sarah