Does That Sound Dirty to Anyone Else?

Teen boy to friends: Wait, how the hell did we start talking about the Swedish mafia?
Teen girl three tables away, leaping out of seat very excitedly: I want a Swedish muffin!

Cafeteria, Corona del Sol High School
Chandler, Arizona

Posted on June 5, 2009
Arizona, Compare and contrast, Default, Food, Geography, Girls, Guys, Offers and requests, Questions, School [Elem., Middle, & High], Teens

Makes You Want to Roll Around in Her, Huh?

Cute girl: This lotion is great! I actually have it on now, and keep smelling myself!
Teen boy, dragged in by his mother: Really? Can I smell you?
Cute girl: Sure! Smell me!
Teen boy: Wow, you do smell great! Mom, smell her!

Soap Store
New York City, New York

Posted on June 4, 2009
Default, Family ties, Girls, Guys, New York, Offers and requests, Questions, Sensory experiences, Stores, Teens

Anyone Else Find This Lady Frightening?

Short girl hugging friend: Let's make CocoRosie jokes and spoon.

Basketball Game
Chestnut Hill, Massachusetts

Overheard by: sounds pretty nice to me

Posted on June 3, 2009
Default, Girls, Massachusetts, Music, Offers and requests, Relationships

Dear Abby– My Friend Has an “Awkward” Husband…

Woman #1: Oh my god, Jason Statham is so hot! I want to funk him so bad!
Woman #2: I know! When you're done, I'm next!
Hubby of woman #1: And when they're done, I want to smell his cock.

Islip, New York

Overheard by: Who is Jason Statham?

Posted on June 2, 2009
Default, Guys, Hubbies, New York, Offers and requests, Penis, Sex, Weirdness, Women

That's What We All Want, Jimbo.

Thug to two others, leaving subway: Yo, let's hurry. I want to get good seats so I can suck her daddy's dick.

Government Center
Boston, Massachsetts

Overheard by: Jchill

Posted on June 1, 2009
BJs, Default, Massachusetts, Offers and requests, Penis, Thugs, Words

All Octopus Hymns Have Eight Verses

Chick: I just don't want to sing about suckers with the step family!

Michigan

Overheard by: Meister E.

Posted on June 1, 2009
Default, Family ties, Girls, Michigan, Offers and requests, Singing

And That Won't Give Her a Yeast Infection?

30-something black man on cell: Yeah. Put ketchup on it, it tastes like spaghetti!

All Star Cafe
Berkeley, California

Posted on May 31, 2009
Advice, Black people, California, Compare and contrast, Default, Food, Guys, Offers and requests, Restaurants

When I Went Into Insulin Shock, the Joke Was on Her!

Loud fat man on bus: When I first found out I had diabetes, I had my wife go out and buy me a big case of pudding cups. I opened each one up and poured them into a tub with some milk.
Friend: Oh?
Loud fat man on bus: My mother-in-law didn't believe I could eat it, but I sat down in front of her and drank the whole thing, just to spite her.

Portland, Oregon

Posted on May 31, 2009
Default, Drinking & drunks, Family ties, Fat people, Food, Guys, Maladies, Offers and requests, Oregon

Counting the Nuts, Of Course

Young ice cream customer: I'm going to get a large sundae.
Competitive young ice cream customer: Oh, yeah? I once had a sundae that was so big it was…it was… (thinks about it) up to the top of Jesus!

Dairy Queen
Victoria
Canadia

Overheard by: bemused in Dairy Queen

Posted on May 30, 2009
Canadia, Compare and contrast, Customers, Default, Food, Jesus, Kids, Offers and requests, Questions

Ad: Have You Sustained a U.D.I.?

Bartender to limping girl entering bar: Are you limping? Oh my god! What happened?
Limping girl: Damn, you weren't here last night, I was hoping you'd tell me!

Washington, DC

Posted on May 30, 2009
Bars & Clubs, Bartenders, Default, Girls, Offers and requests, Questions, Washington, DC, Wishes

Offers and requests

Anyone Else Find This Lady Frightening?

Ad: Have You Sustained a U.D.I.?