Greasy old man to wheelchair-ridden woman: And then it drips out of my rectum…
Westchester Airport
New York
Old man on phone: I am a beautiful woman.
Calgary
Alberta
Canadia
Old man to another, looking at soup: I just feel like I'm getting ripped off by the French!
Grocery Store
Maryland
Overheard by: Nic
Grandma: She doesn't need those…she's getting too big for baby clothes.
Mom: I know, but I don't want her to be too big for baby clothes! I just want her to stay little and not start talking…or moving.
Shop
Buffalo, New York
Young Asian cop easing old Asian man out of police car: My first day on the beat and already I'm finding out about and busting illegal Mahjong parlors! I didn't know they existed!
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: McF
Old woman: Should you really be drinking with your condition?
Young guy: What condition?
Old woman: Y’know — the crazy and all.
Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Overheard by: fregout
Grandmother: I think the cat is pregnant with one kitten or something.
Five-year-old boy: Yeah, and the kitten is like, controlling her from the inside.
Spokane, Washington
Old lady to another: I don’t like toilet paper. I think it’s such a waste.
Mt. Vernon, New York
Overheard by: Not sure if I should laugh or puke
Old man with mullet to brown child in stroller: Buenos dias, niñito.
Woman pushing stroller: We’re black. He knows English.
Gallivan Center Trax Station
Salt Lake City, Utah
Little old woman to cashier scanning groceries: You're so good and fast! I bet the boys tell you that all the time.
Yarmouth, Maine
Overheard by: Jade
