Old folks

Child: Who’s Elvis?
Mother, not paying attention: I don’t know.
Concerned old lady nearby, to mother: You don’t know who Elvis is, honey?

Cincinnati, Ohio

Older woman to her friend: You just don't ask your mother about your sex life. If you have questions, go ask your friends.

Pigeon Forge, Tennessee

Overheard by: Perplexed

Older white woman, excitedly: And he just bought the electronic device that's going to save their marriage!

Restaurant
Edmonton, Alberta
Canadia

Overheard by: Both disgusted and yet intrigued

Older woman, picking up a bag of peppermints: I still have candy corn out from Halloween. Is it okay to have peppermints and candy corn out at the same time?
Younger woman: What do I look like, Miss Manners? You've been to my house…you know there's still Easter candy out in my candy dishes. And until that goes, I'm not putting anything else out.
Older woman: Now I understand why your children are crazy.

Grocery Store
Hamilton, New Jersey

Overheard by: Currrly!

Old lady: Look at that cheese–such a pretty color! Like one of Hillary Clinton's pantsuits.

Santa Rita Cantina
Austin, Texas

Overheard by: Katie

Old lady #1: … And now he’s crippled!
Old lady #2: Well, of course he is. That’s what God does to people who get divorced.
Old lady #1: That’s true.

Milwaukee, Wisconsin

Overheard by: Voudou

Five-year-old to grandma: You’re just jealous cuz you don’t like monkeys.

Target
Virginia

Overheard by: JH

Thrilled grandma: She was smiling so much, she could have shit her face.

Chattanooga State Library
Chattanooga, Tennessee

Overheard by: Joe!

Older lady to friend over lunch: When I remember things, I remember them. But when I forget them, I forget them.

Vancouver
Canadia

Overheard by: Having breakfast nearby

Old WWII man to another: If I was President of the United States, before I'd let anyone have a license to drive a car I'd make everyone drive a motorcycle for a year to learn defensive driving.

McDonald's
Southington, Connecticut

Overheard by: Raven