As a Reward for Having Completed That Etiquette Course

Older woman with no inside voice, inside a bus on rush hour: I want a diamond about as big as a horse turd.

http://www.overheardinminneapolis.com/2007/08/it_will_be_a_marriage_built_on.html

Overheard by: bleep

Posted on August 13, 2009
Animals, Compare and contrast, Old folks, Overheard in Minneapolis, Poop, Wishes, Women

They Require a Cute, Brightly-Colored Ark.

Little old lady, yelling to friend across the store: The world is flooded with Beanie Babies!

Wauwatosa, Wisconsin

Overheard by: Embarassed at how loud my friend laughed before walking away

Posted on August 10, 2009
Friends, Old folks, Toys, Weirdness, Wisconsin, Women

Confucius Was Quite the Misogynist

Old man to another: Well, ya know what they say. Life's too short to dance with ugly women!

Flea Market
Nashville, Tennessee

Posted on June 18, 2009
Age and ageing, Beauty, Compare and contrast, Dancing, Default, Guys, Old folks, Tennessee

NewsFlash: Happy Feet Director's Cut Startles Movie Patrons

Scary-looking older woman with two teenage girls: Well, they only skinned and hung up one man by his ankles.

Movie Entrance, Chapel Hills Mall
Colorado Springs, Colorado

Posted on June 6, 2009
Body parts, Colorado, Default, Malls, Old folks, Violence, Weirdness, Women

Whereas Scabies Can Always Keep a Secret

Elderly woman to woman across aisle: You can't trust crabs. Crabs are sneaky.

DMV
Los Angeles, California

Overheard by: What about other sneaky crustaceans?

Posted on May 18, 2009
Advice, Animals, California, Default, Old folks, Weirdness, Women

Remember the Days When I Was the Only One?

Old woman to young stranger: Is that your mother?
Young woman: No, bitch. That's my bitch.
Old woman to friend: Kids have way too many bitches these days.

Union Station
Washington, DC

Posted on May 15, 2009
Default, Family ties, Kids, Old folks, Public transportation, Questions, Strangers, Washington, DC, Women

If All You Have Is a Hammer…

70-year-old professor, about The Exorcist as example of blasphemy: She used a crucifix as a self-mutilating dildo…

Saint Peter's College
Jersey City, New Jersey

Posted on March 9, 2009
Christianity, Colleges & Universities, Default, Movies, New Jersey, Old folks, Teachers, Toys

This'll Continue Until You Whack the Sides Of Their Heads

Woman: Olivia likes beans.
Older woman: Who likes beans?
Woman: Olivia.
Older woman: What about 'er?
Woman: She likes beans.
Older woman: Who likes beans?
Woman (exasperated): Olivia!

Virginia Beach, Virginia

Overheard by: I also like beans

Posted on March 3, 2009
Default, Food, Names, Old folks, Questions, Virginia, Women

…of Color

Elderly woman: I can't believe they let you sell Obama cookies here! Tsk!
Employee: Ma'am, those are just gingerbread cookies.

Stonewall Kitchen
Portsmouth, New Hampshire

Posted on January 22, 2009
Default, Employees, Food, Names, New Hampshire, Old folks, Politics, Restaurants, Women

She Keeps a Pearl-Handled Revolver in Her Clutch for Just Such Occasions

Cashier: Did you find everything you were looking for?
Old lady: Yes. Actually, no! You don't have any vanilla frozen yogurt! You have every other flavor (getting worked up) I have a coupon for frozen yogurt! (waves it in cashier's face)
Cashier: Uh…I'm sorry! (sends a carryout to look for vanilla frozen yogurt)
Old lady: At least you had flat-iron chicken. You didn't have it last time. (glares)
Old lady's son, in a whisper: I'm glad you had flat-iron chicken, or I don't know what we would have done!

Springboro, Ohio

Overheard by: Never knew frozen yogurt was so important

Posted on January 19, 2009
Compare and contrast, Default, Employees, Family ties, Food, Guys, Ohio, Old folks, Questions, Women

Old folks