Remember the Days When I Was the Only One?

Old woman to young stranger: Is that your mother?
Young woman: No, bitch. That's my bitch.
Old woman to friend: Kids have way too many bitches these days.

Union Station
Washington, DC

Posted on May 15, 2009
Default, Family ties, Kids, Old folks, Public transportation, Questions, Strangers, Washington, DC, Women

If All You Have Is a Hammer…

70-year-old professor, about The Exorcist as example of blasphemy: She used a crucifix as a self-mutilating dildo…

Saint Peter's College
Jersey City, New Jersey

Posted on March 9, 2009
Christianity, Colleges & Universities, Default, Movies, New Jersey, Old folks, Teachers, Toys

This'll Continue Until You Whack the Sides Of Their Heads

Woman: Olivia likes beans.
Older woman: Who likes beans?
Woman: Olivia.
Older woman: What about 'er?
Woman: She likes beans.
Older woman: Who likes beans?
Woman (exasperated): Olivia!

Virginia Beach, Virginia

Overheard by: I also like beans

Posted on March 3, 2009
Default, Food, Names, Old folks, Questions, Virginia, Women

…of Color

Elderly woman: I can't believe they let you sell Obama cookies here! Tsk!
Employee: Ma'am, those are just gingerbread cookies.

Stonewall Kitchen
Portsmouth, New Hampshire

Posted on January 22, 2009
Default, Employees, Food, Names, New Hampshire, Old folks, Politics, Restaurants, Women

She Keeps a Pearl-Handled Revolver in Her Clutch for Just Such Occasions

Cashier: Did you find everything you were looking for?
Old lady: Yes. Actually, no! You don't have any vanilla frozen yogurt! You have every other flavor (getting worked up) I have a coupon for frozen yogurt! (waves it in cashier's face)
Cashier: Uh…I'm sorry! (sends a carryout to look for vanilla frozen yogurt)
Old lady: At least you had flat-iron chicken. You didn't have it last time. (glares)
Old lady's son, in a whisper: I'm glad you had flat-iron chicken, or I don't know what we would have done!

Springboro, Ohio

Overheard by: Never knew frozen yogurt was so important

Posted on January 19, 2009
Compare and contrast, Default, Employees, Family ties, Food, Guys, Ohio, Old folks, Questions, Women

Only Sweet, Sweet Kisses

60-year-old woman, spotting a friend walking towards her: Oh, fancy seeing you here!
Friend: How nice to see you! But no hugs below the waist this time.

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/455563423/its-getting-harder-to-explain.html

Overheard by: curious.

Posted on January 18, 2009
Compare and contrast, Compliments, Default, Feelings, Friends, Old folks, Overheard in Minneapolis, Weirdness, Women

…While Describing It to Me in Slow, Sultry Terms.

Older woman on phone: There are two dogs having relations on my front yard.
Chief of police: Well, hose them down.

Felton, Delaware

Overheard by: oh dear.

Posted on January 16, 2009
Animals, Cops, Default, Delaware, Old folks, Sex, Violence, Women

Is That What I've Been Swallowing?

Older male professor, addressing a large lecture hall with only girls: So you see, in my body you will find lots of regular cells, and also you will find cells that are in the process of meiosis; and those are my sperm cells.
Barnard girl: That is so awkward.

Barnard College
New York

Overheard by: Vicksburg