Girl to friends: So, when I was 6, I took my golden retriever's rectal temperature with a tire pressure gauge.
Nice Restaurant
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Girl to friends: So, when I was 6, I took my golden retriever's rectal temperature with a tire pressure gauge.
Nice Restaurant
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Sorostitute, about bender: So what time does it start?
Frat boy: I've set my alarm for 9 am. We'll start then. We've got two kegs in and two cases of tequila.
Sorostitute: I'm such a lightweight. I'll probably be passed out by 11. My roommate said “please don't die. If you die, call me.”
Penn State University
Kid-faced guy in suit on cell: Yeah, and then those malicious evildoers told me I shouldn't be there. (pause) They were the minions of the Antichrist. (pause) I'm serious, dammit!
King of Prussia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Carrie
Girl #1, listening to John Denver: This is a great song. Especially if you're gay. You should have this at your wedding.
Girl #2: Well, if I marry a gay guy, it'll be great.
Phildelphia, Pennsylvania
Heavily tattooed man: She got this new haircut; it's short, but it's kind of… awkward.
Heavily tattooed woman: Like a bowl cut?
Heavily tattooed man: No, kind of like… What's-his-name, from Scooby Doo.
Heavily tattooed woman: Velma?
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: jira monkey
Teen girl, holding candy bar: Why does it have to be so big? I can't take all this. (pause) That's what I said!
Harrisburg, Pennsylvania
Screaming woman, surrounded by children: I haven't breast fed in months! Why won't they leave me alone?!
Philadelphia Zoo
Pennsylvania
Overheard by: mammophile
Professor, in monotone voice: I think we're all familiar with merry-go-rounds. They're objects in playgrounds that rotate at relatively high speeds, and we put our children on them.
Millersville University
Millersville, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Tyler G
Mother to child: Mary*, what was your favorite part of the show?
Child, eating pretzel: This pretzel!
Mother's friend: Of course it is.
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Bruce Banner
Awkward guy: Hey, so remember when we were walking together yesterday?
Uncomfortable girl: Yeah.
Awkward guy: So my friend was all “who was that big-tittied girl you were walking with?”
Uncomfortable girl: Alright, then.
High School
Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Sarah
