Poop

Girl: The toilet was in the living room.

Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: James

Woman, searching through bargain bin: Do you want this? This woman taught at Bennington!
Girl: Dude, that's old! She teaches at my school now. Her son was in my class. His lab puppy shat on dreadlock, girl!

Borders
Mansfield, Massachusetts

Fireman: And then he asked me if I'd ever covered my hand with a plastic bread bag, and then squished my shit around in the toilet… just to see what it feels like.

Maine

Older woman with no inside voice, inside a bus on rush hour: I want a diamond about as big as a horse turd.

http://www.overheardinminneapolis.com/2007/08/it_will_be_a_marriage_built_on.html

Overheard by: bleep

Little boy in handicapped stall: I like you… I like you, Craig… You relax me.

Ladies Room, Barnes & Noble
Saugus, Massachusetts

British guy on cell: Ugh! I just stuck my umbrella in something that resembles feces!

MARTA
Atlanta, Georgia

Foreign dressing room attendant, opening all stall doors: It stinks in here! Who pooped? Someone pooped in here, and I'm gonna find it. Where is the poop? Who did it?

Ross
Melbourne, Florida

Girl #1: So Gabby's RA was telling her that someone shat on the carpet in the hallway the other night.
Girl #2: Wait, were they drunk or something?
Girl #1: I would think so. It was nighttime.

Drake University
Des Moines, Iowa

Guy #1, walking down sidewalk: I really have to poo.
Guy #2, walking down sidewalk: Speaking of poo, I could use some poontang.
Random girl walking the other way: Oh my goodness!

Richmond, Virginia

Overheard by: Alexa

Dad: There are some things you can't discuss with girls. Like I would never tell your mom about the really weird-colored shit I had last night.
Preteen son: What color was it?
Dad: See, that's not the kind of question a girl would ask.

Northgate Mall
Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: Didn't want to hear it either