Public transportation

Flight attendant: So I'm gonna let the lady in the box [the recording] take it away in French, then I'll finish up in English, because we like to save the best for last!
Entire plane: Oooooooooooooh!
Lady at the back (in French): We're still in Quebec, you know!

WestJet Flight
Montreal
Canadia

Mum: Do you want some McDonald's for lunch?
Seven-year-old girl: Ew, no, I'd rather die, I'll just have a latte, I think I'm getting a migraine.

Wahroonga Station
Sydney
Australia

Stewardess at gate: If everyone can have their boarding passes out and ready for me then I can make this go a lot quicker…and if you don't ask me any stupid questions that would help too, thank you! (smiles and starts scanning passes)

Flight from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

Tramcar driver in Magic Kingdom: It has come to my attention that people use their panic button to help them find their car. That is cheating. You must wander around aimlessly for a while first.

Disney World, Florida

Overheard by: Kristen

American tourist: Why did they put the castle so close to the airport?

Outside Windsor Castle
Windsor
England

(a group of people are standing on the steps of the station, singing about Christianity)
Man, sprinting across the road: Run for your lives! He's preaching Jesus!

Flinders Street Station
Melbourne
Australia

Overheard by: Skeeta

Conductor (at tube stop before Finchley Road station): This train will not be stopping at Finchley Road. I repeat, this train will not be stopping at Finchley Road. (train pulls into Finchley Road, slows down and stops) This train will not be stopping at Finchley Road. (pause) I'm aware that we've actually stopped at Finchley Road, but we will not be stopping at Finchley Road.

Jubilee Underground Line
London
England

Overheard by: Tom

Gay male flight attendant: If you'll be requiring wheelchair assistance when we get to Cleveland, please remain seated. Because, if you stand up, we'll assume you've been healed by the Holy Spirit and no longer need our help.
Passengers: (laughter)
Flight attendant: And please keep your seatbelts fastened until we've reached the gate and come to a complete stop.
(man in front row unbuckles his belt)
Flight attendant: Stop it, cheater!

Southwest Airlines Flight
Cleveland, Ohio

Overheard by: Erica

Flight attendant: Please ensure that your mobile phone is switched off for take-off. If you don't know how to turn your phone off, there are plenty of kids on this flight who do.

Adelaide Airport
Australia

Girl on cell: So, did I tell you? I got fired from my job. (pause) Yeah, I guess I'm not a very good gay and lesbian promoter. (pause) Well I'm not gay, so maybe that had something to do with it. (pause) Oh, didn't you hear? I got kicked out of my apartment last week, too. (pause) Yeah, it's gay.

Redline MAX
Portland, OR

Overheard by: Gus