Chick on cell: … So that’s why Grandma and Grandpa are so upset? Was adoption brought up? [Long pause, then] Do I want orange sheets?
http://ohinmpls.blogspot.com/2007/06/target-guest.html
Overheard by: sarah
Chick on cell: … So that’s why Grandma and Grandpa are so upset? Was adoption brought up? [Long pause, then] Do I want orange sheets?
http://ohinmpls.blogspot.com/2007/06/target-guest.html
Overheard by: sarah
Girl: What about her? She’s cute.
Guy: Yeah… but her boobs are small.
Girl: What’s wrong with small boobs anyway?
Guy: They’re… not… big.
Restaurant, Oregon
Cashier on cell phone: I mean… What’s the problem? Ejaculating? Is he ejaculating too much or too little? Which is the problem?
Shoprite
New Jersey
Overheard by: allison
Guy: We're talking heroic amounts of porn.
Girl, laughing hysterically: Oh my god, what?
Guy: What?
Girl: How is “heroic” a unit of measurement?
Guy: No. I mean: if you met the guy, he'd be your hero.
Girl, still laughing, walking away: I can't.
Connecticut
Overheard by: LunaFish
Queer: You're a virgin!?
Girl: Yeah.
Queer: How do you sleep at night?
Girl: I really don't, I stay up all night dreaming about sex and pleasuring myself.
Queer: I want to be a virgin too!
San Diego, California
Husband: What's the greatest story ever told, then?
Wife: Hansel and Gretel!
Los Angeles, California
Elderly woman #1: How's your mother?
Elderly woman #2: She's great! She wants to get euthanized!
Chappaqua, New York
Student: But why would someone do that?
Teacher: For the LOLs.
High School
Englewood, Colorado
Overheard by: Lee
Huge black guy to other (in fake British accent): Sir Oscar! Are you attempting to take a break?
LA Fitness
Tempe, Arizona
Distressed girl in dining hall: Her questions go in a circle, then down to the corner and back. Except the teacher thinks they come all the way back but no, they don't. I'm still down at the corner thinking to myself, “Where the fuck am I?!”
Cornell College, Iowa
