But I Still Don't Understand Those Two Dangly Bits

Girl, on sex-ed: Well, I went to a Catholic school and as a result I didn't know what a penis was until I got to high school.
Guy: I think these middle school girls need psychotherapy before they need birth control. 11-year-olds shouldn't be having sex.
Girl: Girls? Why just the girls? They're having sex with 11-year-old boys. You need something to stick in there in order to get pregnant.
Professor: Well, it looks like you found out what a penis was.

University of Northern Iowa
Cedar Falls, Iowa

Posted on April 27, 2009
Christianity, Colleges & Universities, Default, Education, Girls, Iowa, Kids, Penis, Pregnancy, Questions, Sex, Students, Teachers

So He's More Of a Business Associate Than a Friend

Climbing instructor to terrified new climber being held by another: Is he or is he not your friend? Would a friend drop you?
Terrified new climber: Well, he's my husband, so I don't know!

Climbing Gym
New York City, New York

Posted on April 26, 2009
Compare and contrast, Default, Employees, New York, Questions, Relationships

If It'll Be Reflected in Our Grades

Professor: Please don't talk amongst yourselves. When you talk amongst yourselves, I imagine you're saying horrible things like “Who would ever want to shag him?”
Previously chatting student: Don't worry! We all want to shag you!

University of Glasgow
Scotland
UK

Posted on April 26, 2009
Colleges & Universities, Default, Offers and requests, Questions, Sex, Students, Teachers, UK

Like Babies Do

Writer: That guy is so small he could get a job as a stunt midget.
Illustrator: Is that a real profession? I would have thought they did their own stunts.

Greenville Airport
Texas

Overheard by: Mike

Posted on April 25, 2009
Airports & flights, Compare and contrast, Default, Employees, Jobs & Careers, Questions, Texas

Sweetie, I'm a Bottom.

Asian girl, holding out fist: Pound it?
Queer: Do I look like someone who pounds it?
Asian girl, giggling: Ummmm…

West Lafayette, Indiana

Overheard by: Kole

Posted on April 24, 2009
Asians, Default, Girls, Guys, Happiness, Indiana, Pop culture, Queers, Questions

Especially an All-Girls' College?

Smithie: Why do I go to college if my only ambition is to be a constantly drunk trophy wife?

Smith College
Northampton, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Colleen

Posted on April 24, 2009
Colleges & Universities, Default, Drinking & drunks, Education, Massachusetts, Questions, Relationships, Students

At Least That's What It Said on the Package

Girl in statistics class: She told me, “you're gay.” How can I be gay? I had four–no, five and a half–servings of dick this morning.

Saint Peter's College
Jersey City, New Jersey

Posted on April 24, 2009
Colleges & Universities, Default, Girls, New Jersey, Penis, Questions, Sexuality, Students

Don't Stop 'til After Your Story's Climax

AP English teacher: Now, remember kids, what do I always say you all should do?
Student: Procreate?
AP English teacher: No! Well, eh…I do say that too, but I meant “proofread!”

Northport, Long Island
New York

Posted on April 23, 2009
Advice, Default, Kids, New York, Questions, Teachers, Words

What? I'm Bendy.

Boy #1: Does this taste good?
Girl #1: Yes, it doesn't taste plasticky at all!
Boy #2: Tastes like penis.

Hollywood, Florida

Overheard by: meaw

Posted on April 21, 2009
Compare and contrast, Default, Florida, Girls, Guys, Penis, Questions

One With Special Training in Fashion Emergency Medicine

Teen girl in stall #1, reading: “Press for assistance…” Oh, Crystal, they have a press for assistance button in here!
Teen girl in stall #2: What?
Teen girl in stall #1: You know when you're in the hospital and you got that little button to press for when you need the nurse to come? They have one in here!
Teen girl in stall #2: Shut up!

Dressing Room
Dallas, Texas

Overheard by: Alicia K.

Posted on April 21, 2009
Compare and contrast, Default, Girls, Offers and requests, Questions, Teens, Texas

Questions