Subway conductor, as train lights go out: Ladies and gentlemen, we are currently experiencing a delay because some yahoo cut the power lines walking at track level at St. George station. (ominously) Do you know where your children are?
Toronto
Canadia
Overheard by: Jtf
Girl to another standing outside business office: So did you smack her titties?
College Building
Wisconsin
Little boy at ice cream parlor: Uh…can I have um, little gummy bears?
Impatient dad: Oh, that's great. You invented something the store doesn't have.
Westchester, New York
Overheard by: Griffin
Woman #1: He looks like Leonardo DiCaprio.
Woman #2: Niiiice. Wait, hot Leonardo from The Departed or crazy Leonardo from The Aviator?
Woman #1: Uhhh.
Woman #2: Or the mental kid from Gilbert Grape? Or Leonardo from Titanic? Ha, this is fun!
Woman #1: Actually, he looks more like Matt Damon.
Auckland
New Zealand
Nanny to five-year-old: Look, Stephen, there's a kitty!
Stephen, petting cat: Since boys have short hair and girls have long hair, then this kitty is a boy.
Nanny: Maybe not. Boys can have long hair and girls can have short hair too.
Stephen: Then how do you tell if it's a girl or a boy?
Nanny: How 'bout some ice cream?
Washington, DC
American guy carrying cake box: And the 911 operator just hears “you fucking whore!” and the line goes dead. Seven hours later, the cops show up.
Incredulous Asian girl: And they were all dead?
American guy: Oh yeah, all of 'em were dead. That's why you're much better off being middle class in this country, health-wise.
London
England
Overheard by: Jai
Hipster girl to friend, looking at DVDs: Hey, you know my friend Stephanie, whose boyfriend I made out with, Corey? His favorite movie was A Walk to Remember. He admitted it and everything.
Hipster friend, touching hipster friend's head: You have a really soft scalp.
Hipster girl: That means I'll never lose my hair. Oh! The Breakfast Club!
Edgewood Target
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: I didn't make out with him
Midshipman: It's midgets, sir.
Skeptical lieutenant: Is it like albino midgets or something?
Midshipman: No, sir, regular midgets.
Skeptical lieutenant: Oh well…okay, then.
NROTC Classroom
Atlanta, Georgia
Tall brunette: Hey…have you seen my portable soup transporter?
Short blonde (in disbelief): You mean a cup?
Tall brunette: Yeah…that.
Lower Hutt
New Zealand
Overheard by: Seriously worried
Zookeeper: We have three types of penguins: Humboldt, Emperor, and Macaroni.
Small child watching zookeeper: Are there African American penguins?
Zookeeper, clearly flustered: Er…well…there are penguins from many countries and continents…
Milwaukee County Zoo
Wisconsin
Overheard by: Not a penguin racist
