Questions

Teen #1: And we can decorate it!
Teen #2: With glitter and sparkles?
Teen #1: Gawd, you are like a deprived five-year-old.

Fullerton, California

Overheard by: Does glitter make you younger?

Woman on cell: Okay, I might be about to lose you because I'm in an elevator. (pause) I'm in an elevator–how could I be driving?

City College
San Francisco, California

Girl: I feel like, you know, I'm, like, going out with a different guy almost every single night. You know?
Guy: Well, I think that's because you're a whore.

University of Pennsylvania

Overheard by: oh well, okay

Barista at coffee shop: Can I help you, sir?
50-something man: Ah, yes. Do you have, ah, something like coffee?

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/469708855/youre-going-to-have-to-settle-for-the-real-thing.html

Overheard by: the man with the mohawk

Friend #1, driving: Yeah, she'll be okay with it, she'll just be like…oh, motherfucker, I'll stab you in the face!!
Friend #2: What?
Friend #1: She'll be okay with it, though, she'll just be like…pedidle!
Friend #2: (silence)
Friend #1: What?! Did you see that car? She'll be okay with it, she'll just be like, oh…okay.

Bentleyville, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: concerned friend

Professor: So my kid walked in on us last night…
Student in class: Well, you gave them the talk, why not say you were wrestling or something?
Professor: Well, I have no way to explain the handcuffs.

Penn State
Altoona, Pennsylvania

Blonde: Did you sleep with him?
Brunette: (nods)
Blonde: What!? But you're my virgin friend!
Brunette: I can pretend…

Toronto
Ontario
Canadia

Overheard by: The Shrew

Frat guy #1: Dude, what is wrong with you tonight? You were all fidgety in there!
Frat guy #2: Yeah… You remember that blonde chick? She gave me syphilis, man. It's itchy as fuck!

Arizona State University

Overheard by: Just pretend like you didn't hear that…

Very drunk male friend to very sober, pregnant, married friend: Can I phlegm on your cleavage?

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/375684186/that-just-wont-work.html

Overheard by: a connoisseur of terrible pick-up lines

Trixy McBimbo: Is “artillery” another word for money?

Loyola University
Chicago, Illinois