Tipsy girl to friend on phone: Who are you talking to?
Friend, suspiciously: No one!
Tipsy girl: Do I need to monitor your drinking?
Friend: No!
Tipsy girl: Do I need to monitor your vagina?
Friend: No!
Tipsy girl: Good, cause I don't know how I would do that.
Drunken guy from end of the bar: I can do it!
Bar
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: three_eyed_fish
Guy: We're cool now.
Girl: What?
Guy: I said we're cool now.
Girl: Oh, yeah, I know. That's why I smiled at you instead of slitting my throat.
Point Park University
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: ZB
Girl: If you loved me, you wouldn't pressure me to do that!
Boy: Honey, I promise it isn't that weird!
University of Virginia
Overheard by: beth
Teacher to student: See, why can't you be more of a brown noser, like him? (points at another student)
Student: Because I don't like the taste of ass?
(class groans)
Teacher: Don't knock it till you try it.
San Diego, California
Professor just before class starts: There's no sporting events this weekend, right? We need something to bet on. (pause) I've got it! How about the hurricane?
CSU Classroom
Fort Collins, Colorado
Waiter: Table for three?
Middle aged woman: No, four. I know we look like three but…
Waiter: No, I get it. Imaginary friend.
Tasty Thai
Eugene, Oregon
Overheard by: nyssa
Dad: There are some things you can't discuss with girls. Like I would never tell your mom about the really weird-colored shit I had last night.
Preteen son: What color was it?
Dad: See, that's not the kind of question a girl would ask.
Northgate Mall
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: Didn't want to hear it either
Marathon runner: Do you suppose that if I grab that kid and take off running, that his parents would pay more attention to him? But then again, what do I do? Drop him off and say “just kidding”?
Pearl Street
Boulder, Colorado
Woman: Olivia likes beans.
Older woman: Who likes beans?
Woman: Olivia.
Older woman: What about 'er?
Woman: She likes beans.
Older woman: Who likes beans?
Woman (exasperated): Olivia!
Virginia Beach, Virginia
Overheard by: I also like beans
Student: Hey there! How was your Thanksgiving?
Dining hall worker: Meh, I was pretty indifferent. At least I didn't get arrested.
Student: Oh…that's a good way to look at things.
Gonzaga University
Spokane, Washington
Overheard by: its something to be thankful for
