…If She Tries to Get Out Of Going to Preschool Again.

Guy on cell, very angrily: Fuck you! (then suddenly calm) Well, that's what I was thinking of saying to her…

Brighton
England

Posted on June 28, 2019
England, Grumpies, Guys, Insults, On the phone, Relationships

The Difference Between Quality and Quantity Eludes Many Americans

Pouting newlywed wife: I feel like we don't spend enough time together.
Seething newlywed husband: (grinds teeth)
Pouting newlywed wife: Enough quality time.
Seething newlywed husband: (remains silent)
Pouting newlywed wife: Would you like me to tell you what quality time is?
Seething newlywed husband: (about to speak, thinks better of it)
Pouting newlywed wife: 23 hours a day.

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/465741992/one-hour-is-plenty-of-time-for-a-lot-of-drugs.html

Overheard by: good, that leaves one hour for him to think of a response

Posted on June 16, 2019
Couples, Default, Girls, Guys, Offers and requests, Overheard in Minneapolis, Questions, Relationships

But It Was a Planned Incarceration

Obese John Wayne wannabe: I can’t believe we are not hanging out tonight.
Gap tooth hootchie: I told you I made plans with my friends a month ago!
Obese John Wayne wannabe: Well you’re supposed to be hanging out with me. We never hang out anymore and we are boyfriend and girlfriend!
Gap tooth hootchie: We were supposed to hang out this past Saturday and Sunday but we didn’t! You were not fucking there.
Obese John Wayne wannabe: I had a change of plans!
Gap tooth hootchie: Change of plans?! Muthafucker you were in jail!

Bus
Iowa State University, Iowa

Overheard by: Casey

Posted on May 29, 2019
Bus, Colleges & Universities, Compare and contrast, Couples, Crimes, Euphemisms, Fat people, Girls, Gripes, Guys, Hoochies, Iowa, Leisure, Relationships

…Full Of Heroin?

Middle-aged black woman to husband: Baby, you remember that time I shot you?

CVS
Indianapolis, Indiana

Posted on April 29, 2019
Crimes, Default, Hubbies, Memory lane, Questions, Relationships, Stores, Thugs, Violence, Women

Not Even by New Jersey Standards?

Guy, tenderly hugging girlfriend: You're right, you're not worthy.

Red Bank, New Jersey

Posted on April 27, 2019
Compare and contrast, Couples, New Jersey, Relationships, Weirdness

You Never Did That When We Were Together, Either

Young guy on cell: You got a bikini wax?… Really?… How come you never did that when we were together?… Oh, so you’re a woman now?

7-Eleven
Edmonton, Alberta
Canadia

Posted on April 24, 2019
Canadia, Default, Gender issues, Guys, Hair, On the phone, Questions, Relationships, Sexuality, Stores, Weirdness

Chad and Jeremy Break Up

Gay guy #1, walking down the street: Oh, this place is cute. Your parents should stay here when they visit.
Gay guy #2: That's a funeral home.

Market Street
San Francisco, California

Overheard by: Ray

Posted on April 23, 2019
Compliments, Death & dying, Default, Family ties, Guys, Queers, Relationships, San Francisco, Weirdness

Still, It’s a Violation of the Standard Creepiness Rule for Dating Age Differences

20-something #1: Your boyfriend is 61, right?
20-something #2: My boyfriend is 60. Our father is 61.

Colorado

Posted on April 17, 2019
Age and ageing, Colorado, Compare and contrast, Family ties, Girls, Relationships, Siblings, Weirdness

…So Just Let Me Trim the Ellen Haircut Already!

Annoyed teenage boy to girlfriend: You've got to understand that I'm never going to be Justin Bieber!

London
England

Overheard by: KK

Posted on March 22, 2019
About celebrities, Compare and contrast, Couples, England, Relationships

Colorado Libraries Are Full Of the Stuff

Geeky girl: You know, I’ve still got my ex-boyfriend’s mom’s library card.
Goth friend: …We should totally go and check out, like, animal porn with it.

Aurora, Colorado

Posted on March 5, 2019
Animals, Books, Colorado, Default, Dorks, Geeks & Nerds, Family ties, Friends, Girls, Goths, Offers and requests, Porn, Relationships, Weirdness

Relationships