Relationships

Girl on cell: So, like, I refused her. I told her I'm not friends with whores.

Salisbury, Maryland

Blonde #1: So wait, your dad was still married when he asked your mom out?
Blonde #2: Yeah, and I mean I hadn't thought about it until my sister pointed it out, but I guess my mom was a homewrecker. So I asked her about it and she was like “oh, yeah…I remember the divorce papers going through.”
Blonde #1: That is so weird!
Blonde #2: Yeah, no kidding.

Toronto
Ontario
Canadia

Overheard by: Not the Daughter of a Homewrecker

Old religious woman to large crowd of highly amused students: Having pre-marital sex is like playing Russian roulette with your genitals!

Alumni Hill
University of Arizona

Overheard by: The girl who likes to live on the dangerous side

Mid-twenties guy leaving voice mail: Hey baby, just calling to say hi. How are your boobs?

http://eavesdropdc.blogspot.com/2008/06/just-fine-thanks-and-yours.html

Overheard by: brickskeller

Girl to boyfriend: I am the clownfish to your anenome.

Salt Lake City, Utah

Guy: I don't have a favorite person. (pause, then begrudgingly) Well, I guess my favorite person is her… (points at girlfriend)
Girlfriend, unenthusiastically: Well, gee.

Park Tavern
Jersey City, New Jersey

Cute girl: I have great tits!
Gay friend, skeptically: I guess they're nice…
Cute girl: No, really. Each of my last four boyfriends or longish-term hookup buddies were ass-men when they met me, and by the time we split, they'd each been converted to boob-men.
Gay friend, still skeptical: That may just mean your ass isn't great.
Cute girl: Damn, you're so cup-half-empty. My ass is great. My tits are just phenomenal.

Manhattan, New York

Drunk woman: … And that’s how my parents hooked up! My dad was a drunk dialer!

Outside George’s
Waco, Texas

Girl, wearing leather pants and high heels, pushing a cart containing D batteries, duct tape, and huge bag of rice, on cell: I don’t know why he’s so smug, I told him what I would do to him if I caught him again. [pause] Okay, well I’ve almost got everything I need, I’ll be right over.

Wal-Mart
Lufkin, Texas

Overheard by: wtf?

Teen girl: They've broken up three times, and it never goes well for me.

Studio City, California

Overheard by: Urz