Girl #1: So, how did she find out?
Girl #2: I was right in the middle of vomiting and my mom opened the door and said, ‘You’ve been binge drinking and having unprotected sex?!’
Girl #1: … So, how did she find out?
College of Charleston
Charleston, South Carolina
Overheard by: Addison
Girl to guy trying to grab her underwear: Ow! What the fuck are you doing?
Boy: Sorry! I was trying to give you a wedgie, but I didn’t realize that you already had one.
Alaska Pacific University
Anchorage, Alaska
Greenpeace employee to college girl: Hey! Are you pro-environment?
College girl: No, sorry, post-apocalyptic.
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: rabbit
Student #1: My friend's mom didn't let him watch The Little Mermaid because she was half naked.
Student #2: Yeah, Ariel was such a ho-bag.
Student #1: You know she just wanted those legs so she could spread 'em.
Loma Linda, California
Teacher, explaining sign up sheet: So, where it says “What are your plans?” You need to just put something like “Doctor,” “lawyer,” etc.
Blonde in back, whispering to girl next to her: Girl, I'm putting down “stripper,” then all of my classes will be in the humanities building!
College Orientation
Washington State Community College
Student in English class: Does anyone know the difference between romantic poems with a capital R and lowercase r?
Reston, Virginia
Professor: I could go to Mark*, for example, and say, “hey, you have to do this or I'm going to shoot you.” (to Mark*) Uh, sorry.
Mark*: Well, at least you're polite about it.
Emerson College
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: S.m. Torres
Student to other: Do you have your uterus?
Duke Medicine
Durham, North Carolina
College girl #1: It was fun because it was easy.
College girl #2: Emily*, not all easy things are fun…like, I hear you're not that fun.
Borders
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
