[At computer lab.]Student #1: Try looking up “irony-“, that might work.
Student #2: Irony isn’t even a word, idiot.
Royalton, Minnesota
Overheard by: Lynn
Teacher to girl: I like your shirt!
Girl: Oh, yeah, but it's from a show, so I'm not, like, just wearing a shirt… randomly or whatever.
Boulder, Colorado
Teacher: Who knows what the word “cell” means?
4th-grader: Oh, I do, I do! It's a tiny thing like a jelly doughnut! Except instead of jelly, there's blood!
Elementary School
Washington, DC
Cheerleader: So, I had this problem with peeing and I visited a doctor.
Friend: What did he say?
Cheerleader: You can’t imagine… He wanted to see the effect, so I had to pee in front of him while he’s watching me doing it!
Friend: Wow. I would freak out if that happened to me.
Classroom, Montana State University
Bozeman, Montana
Overheard by: Awesome Naveed
Professor: So, were you in this class before?
Man: Yeah — I dropped halfway through.
Professor: That’s right! You were the flake!
Man: I had open-heart surgery!
Las Positas College
Livermore, California
Student #1, pointing to notebook: If I ever become a famous rapper this is going to be my first album cover.
Student #2: Why? What is it?
Student #1: It’s just a penguin on fire.
Student #2: A flaming penguin — nice!
Student #1, matter-of-factly: I fucking hate penguins…
University of Denver
Denver, Colorado
Preppy blonde on cell: She said she could see herself spending the rest of her life with him, so I told her: “wow, you really need to break up with him.” And she did!
Marist College
Poughkeepsie, New York
Disgruntled freshman girl #1: Ugh, I hate that guy. He is like, you know, so… Ugh!
Disgruntled freshman girl #2: I know, right?
Rude sophomore guy, interrupting: Oh, me and him? We're like porn buddies!
(awkward silence from girls)
Rude sophomore guy: What? That was like, before.
Cainta
Rizal
Philippines
Overheard by: happened to be eating lunch
Female student, having side conversation: I'm always getting hit by pianos!
Columbia College
Chicago, Illinois
Grad student #1: Have you heard Avril Lavigne's song? The deep one?
Grad student #2: “Sk8r Boi”?
NWU Campus
New York City, New York
