Students

English professor: I know what you're thinking. Two pages! I can write that with half a bottle of whiskey in me and my hands tied behind my back!

Cardinal Stritch University
Milwaukee, Wisconsin

Professor: Temperature is an example of an invented reality. Temperature doesn’t exist. It’s all in our minds. It’s either hot or cold out, but what are “degrees” really? Nothing!
Student: Actually, temperature is scientifically calculated by… (goes on to give long, technical explanation)
Professor: Really? I’m going to have to go look that up on Wikipedia. I get all of my information from Wikipedia.

University of Toronto
Canadia

Overheard by: Glad you’re teaching us then…

Student, discussing a character’s problems: It’s like he’s in between a needle and some bread.
Teacher: … Do you mean a rock and a hard place?

English Class, Hazelwood West High School
Florissant, Missouri

Chatty female college student to friends: So it was sort of like that, except instead of a q-tip, it was a vacuum. There was no scraping at all.
Friend: Wow… that's crazy.

Harrisonburg, Virginia

Professor: Did those cops find you the other day? They were waiting outside the classroom.
Student: I know. You’re not kidding.
Professor: No, I’m not.
Student: Yeah, I kidnapped the kids over Christmas.
Professor: Good for you.

Arkansas State University
Arkansas

Astronomy teacher, about weather inhibiting lunar eclipse viewing: Well, NASA’s here, so Houston’s still cool.
Student #1: Yeah, but not cool enough to have an H&M…
Student #2: Yeah, I know!
Student #1: This really bothers me…

High school
Houston, Texas

Enthusiastic law student: I love tiny spoons!

http://overheardatcornell.blogspot.com/2007/03/overdue-posting-new-blog-sweet.html

Overheard by: laura and matt

Female English professor on the first day of class: So tell me as much about me as you can by my appearance. What kind of person do you think I am?
Student: I think you were probably a wild teenager. You've got a tattoo and a tongue piercing.
Female English professor (chuckling): I've got more tattoos and piercings than you care to know about.

Community College
Elizabethtown, Kentucky

Overheard by: Chelsea

Freshmen: So, like, where do you want to go college?
Junior: Oh, I don’t know… Maybe somewhere around the New England area?
Freshmen: Oh… So, like, where is that? In Britain or something?

Winston-Salem, North Carolina

Overheard by: Dumbstruck

Student to another: You're an asshole!
Science teacher: If you're going to say that, you should use the proper term, which is “anus.”

High School
Auckland
New Zealand