Students

Girl in class: Dan, can you spread me out? (pause) Oh, that sounded wrong.

University of Northern Colorado

Young college woman on cell: No! No, you may not wear my underwear!

http://eavesdropdc.blogspot.com/2008/04/she-just-ruined-someones-night.html

Overheard by: silver spring

Professor, near the end of two-hour lecture, taking a few deep breaths: I'm losing it myself, I'm bored!

Michigan State University

Overheard by: almost-facinated student

Freshman boy: I think I have gingivitis.
Friend: You can't get gingivitis on your hand!

High School
Amherst, Massachusetts

Overheard by: shiny

High school teacher: So they employed guerrilla warfare.
Chick: Wait, seriously? They sent gorillas out into the jungle? Wouldn't that be dangerous?

Vienna, Virginia

Quirky college student: You know it's love when you ask “please, can I suck your dick?”
Friend: Word.

Willamette University
Salem, Oregon

Law student: The professor was late the first day because he couldn't find his keys until he realized they were in the ignition of his car, and then he came in and sat cross-legged on the desk and talked about Woodstock. So it could be worse, I suppose.

University of Alabama
Tuscaloosa, Alabama

Overheard by: Jennifer

Anthropology professor: So they tried so hard to be hetero that they just came out being really homo…
Class: (laughs)
Anthropology professor: …geneous.

Bucknell University
Lewisburg, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Peter

Biology teacher: Can anyone give me an example of a parasite?
Girl: A baby!

Madison, Wisconsin

Overheard by: Tangent

Pretentious student to professor: There were a lot of people there. Interesting people. But most of them weren't as interesting as me.

University of Maine
Orono, Maine