Just the Guy We’ve Been Looking For!

Scientologist: Excuse me, sir. Would you like a free personality test from the Church of Scientology?
Suit: I don’t need one. My wife says I’m an asshole.

Outside Church of Scientology, Yonge Street
Toronto
Canadia

Overheard by: lauren mcgoldrick

Posted on February 3, 2016
Canadia, Default, Hubbies, Insults, Offers and requests, Relationships, Religion, Religious fanatics, Suits

Might As Well Go Back to Sleep at That Point

Lady suit #1: I mean, can you imagine waking up one day to find out that you’re six months pregnant?
Lady suit #2: Seven months.
Lady suit #1: Seven months?

http://www.overheardinminneapolis.com/2007/06/sure_if_my_head_was_disconnect.html

Overheard by: jfa

Posted on February 2, 2016
Overheard in Minneapolis, Questions, Suits

You'll Pick Up My Tab, Right?

Cute girl to suit: What are you drinking?
Suit: Absolut on the rocks.
Cute girl: I prefer Belvedere.
Suit: Are you trying to get a free drink?
Cute girl to bartender: May I please have a Chopin Martini, up with olives? (points to suit, then turns back to him) Go fuck yourself. (walks away)

Hotel Bar
Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: arrc

Posted on January 19, 2016
Bars & Clubs, Compare and contrast, Default, Drinking & drunks, Girls, Guys, Massachusetts, Names, Offers and requests, Questions, Suits

She Was Absolutely My Favorite Doctor

Suit: … And of course afterwards she ran up and down the hospital corridor naked, screaming at her husband.

Bakery
Christchurch
New Zealand

Posted on October 1, 2015
Gossip, New Zealand, Suits

Um, That's a Water Bottle.

50-something female suit: That's a dog? I thought it was a kid in a weird hat!

Columbia, Missouri

Overheard by: really?

Posted on August 13, 2015
Animals, Clothes, Clothing, Kids, Missouri, Suits

But Do They Need Math Tutoring?

Suit on cell: And then we'll use the leftover money for the Asians!

Bellevue, Washington

Overheard by: Curious

Posted on August 7, 2015
Money, On the phone, Race, Suits, Washington

As Her Husband, I’m Gonna Have to Say No

Suit on cell: I just want to take her to North Carolina and pound the shit out of her. Is that okay?

18th Street and Belmont Road
Washington, DC

Overheard by: glad im not in NC

Posted on August 2, 2015
Gossip, Sex, Suits, Washington, DC

She Has Everything I've Always Wanted, and a Little Something More

Suit on cell: Oh, did I tell you I met someone? (pause) Her name is Brian.

Civic Center Farmer's Market
San Francisco, California

Posted on August 1, 2015
California, Default, Names, On the phone, Queers, Questions, Sexuality, Stores, Suits

There’s a San Francisco Men’s Room without Lotion?

Suit #1: The ladies here really have it better than the guys.
Suit #2: Like how?
Suit #1: Like the women’s restroom — they’ve got nice stuff in there. They’ve got flowers and hand lotion and, like, free tampons! Why don’t the guys get that?!

San Francisco, California

Posted on July 14, 2015
Gender issues, San Francisco, Suits

Eh, Suze Orman's Just a Little Quirky.

Middle-aged suit on cell: Yeah… Well, I don't know. (pause) Doesn't she have Alzheimer's? (pause) I don't care if she's your mother. (pause) Yeah, well, maybe she shouldn't be trading your stocks, then.

Manhattan, New York

Overheard by: mo

Posted on June 21, 2015
Family ties, Maladies, New York, On the phone, Questions, Suits

Suits