Teachers

A+

Black student, casually: Wait, let me get this straight: he was going to participate, but he was late, so he decided to hate, and that’s what started this debate?
Teacher, baffled: Did you just rap that at me?

Columbia College Fiction Department
Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: flunk_punk

Literature professor: You know, eventually we're going to have to talk about the clitoris.
(class stares at him in silence) Maybe not today, but one of these days. I'm just saying.

Milwaukee, Wisconsin

Overheard by: trying not to laugh

Tutor to quiet class: Are you normally this talkative? (silence) Rightie-o, then. You know, when I went to university I practically didn't say a word for four years. It was good.

University of Western Sydney
Australia

Professor: Suppose a woman goes in for a haircut. No, that's not right! What are they called if they're for women? Blow-something. Blowjobs?

http://www.overheardatmcgill.com/archives/2008/11/01/a-guy-walks-in-and-asks-for-just-a-little-off-the-top/

Overheard by: econ 208

Girl in anthropology class: So… Islam says that men can marry four wives, but women can only marry one husband. Whatever.
Professor: Let's try to maintain some cultural relativism!

Collegeville, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: nina

Boy to girl who’s just presented her current event: Your shoe is untied.
Female classmate: Way to pay attention!
Boy: You know, I was just trying to be a friend and tell her so she doesn’t trip and fall or something.
Female classmate: Freud would say otherwise.
Teacher: Freud would say otherwise.
Boy: Yeah, yeah.
Teacher: Do you even know who Freud is?
Boy: Yeah, yeah, the big white tigers — I get it.

Memorial High School
Manchester, New Hampshire

Overheard by: Lily F.

Bearded man, teaching math: …which is gonna give you nine over nine over four, which is horribly ugly. Does that terrify you greatly? It should.

UW Rock County
Janesville, Wisconsin

Overheard by: Akuaku

Professor: Have any of you been hurt by love? [Class is silent, and professor cackles maniacally] Hahaha, ohhh, it’s coming.

Rutgers University
New Jersey

Professor: All the crazies kept moving from the East Coast to the west until they hit California. Some moved back to Oklahoma, but the rest of us just hope there's an earthquake and California floats off into the Mediterranean to become a homeland for Palestinians.

Carroll College
Waukesha, Wisconsin

Overheard by: Abbey

Dry lecturer to class: Given the grades you got in the test, you should really be listening to what I'm saying. (pause) That's rather bitchy, isn't it? It's my way of saying: “shut the whatever up.”

University of Auckland
New Zealand