Prof: So, how's everything at home?
Italian cafe worker: My dog died.
Prof: Oh my god, I'm so sorry. Was he old?
Italian cafe worker: Yes. But I can't bury him. The ground is frozen. There's snow.
Prof: You could have him cremated.
Italian cafe worker: I have him in my freezer. I had to clear it out, my freezer. All the food is out. I'm going to keep him there 'til mud season when I can bury him in the backyard.
Prof: Oh.
Landmark College
Putney, Vermont
Professor: My job is pretty sweet. All I have to do is show up and talk about something I'm interested in. How sweet is that? It would be even better if I didn't hate all of you.
Columbia College
Chicago, Illinois
Woman in miniskirt: I’m a teacher, yo! Wooo! I’m a teacher! [Starts grinding against the wall.]
Hollywood Canteen
http://overheardinlosangeles.blogspot.com/2007/03/those-who-cant-do.html
Professor: It was all sex, drugs, and rock and roll back then… But I wasn’t doing much of that because I was too busy getting my PhD so I could teach at Brandeis.
Brandeis University
Waltham, Massachusetts
Overheard by: lala
Computer professor explaining design process: You can't use shortcuts until you have lots of experience, like your mom.
http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/382740064/thats-a-different-kind-of-experience.html
Overheard by: I bet!
Teacher: Okay, so get out your books and start doing the exercises.
Student: Can I borrow your book?
Teacher: You didn't bring your books? Man…you guys are such losers.
Philadelphia University, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Student
Evidence professor: You really have no idea how stupid criminal defendants are. Imagine the stupidest person you went to high school with. Now, imagine a person that your stupid high school buddy would consider stupid. That’s your criminal defendant.
http://overheardinlawschool.blogspot.com/2007/03/hey-i-know-that-guy.html
Overheard by: kw
English professor, going over punctuation: We can fix this sentence by putting a comma here… and here… and here. See? Comma, comma, comma. [Breaks into song.] Comma-comma-comma-comma-comma chameleeeooon!
Community College
Palm Bay, Florida
Communications professor: Do you think you’ve made any progress in this class?
Student who just gave her speech: Well, my butt cheeks weren’t shaking this time!
Community college
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Some progress is better than none.
