Best. Wedding Vows. Ever.

Guy: It's great because it's like we're bros, and we hang out, but I also get to look at your tits.
Girl: Yeah! (high five)

Austin, Texas

Overheard by: Ben

Posted on November 13, 2015
Compare and contrast, Girls, Guys, Rack, Relationships, Texas

It's Implied by the First Three

Teacher: What is life really about?
Student #1: Cars!
Student #2: Love!
Student #3: Money!
Teacher: Why hasn't anyone said “sex” yet?

Dallas, Texas

Overheard by: Irot

Posted on November 4, 2015
Compare and contrast, Default, Philosophy, Questions, Sex, Students, Teachers, Texas

Does That Ever Work on Black People?

Leathery hobo to passing students: One of you white-ass, livin’-inside motherfuckers owes me a dollar!

Austin, Texas

Posted on October 22, 2015
Default, Gripes, Hobos, Money, Race, Texas, Threats

I'd Scream, “Holy Shit!”

Blond Christian girl #1: So, like, what if like when Jesus comes, you're in the bathroom? Like, what do you do?
Blond Christian girl #2: Oh, wow…that would suck.

Dallas, Texas

Posted on October 20, 2015
Default, Feelings, Girls, Jesus, Questions, Stupidity, Texas

Oh Honey, Nobody’s Buying Middle-Aged White Guys

Queer answering cell: Jesus Christ, where have you been? I thought you were sold into the sexual slave trade!

Austin, Texas

Overheard by: The Megster

Posted on October 17, 2015
Gossip, Queers, Texas

How Ken Maintains That Orange Tan

Blonde: There was a Ken doll encased in jello in the fridge.

Pocket Sandwich Theater
Dallas, Texas

Posted on October 4, 2015
Default, Food, Girls, Pop culture, Texas, Weirdness

No Wonder Texans Think There's No Energy Crisis

Sweaty girl to friend, watching elliptical machine read 75 rpm: So does this mean I'm going 75 miles per hour?

Gym
Dallas, Texas

Posted on August 6, 2015
Friends, Girls, Questions, Stupidity, Texas

Then I May Have Paid Too Much at the Parts Department

Girl: It’s not like you can wake up and be like ‘Hm. I want to be a girl today,’ and then put on your girl parts!
Guy: Ohhh… It’s not?

Auditorium Shores
Austin, Texas

Overheard by: Ellison’s Orange

Posted on August 6, 2015
Friends, Gender issues, Texas

How About You Guys Write the Questions

Girl: So, what's the test going to be like?
Professor: Hard… No, I don't know. I've never done this before.

College Station, Texas

Posted on August 3, 2015
Colleges & Universities, Default, Education, Girls, Questions, Students, Teachers, Texas

And Their Legs Are So Open That Babies Fall Out

Professor: Some people’s minds are so open that their brains fall out.

University of St. Thomas
Houston, Texas

Overheard by: AnnArrogance

Posted on August 1, 2015
Body parts, Euphemisms, Teachers, Texas