Vermont

Party goer #1: That girl is wasted.
Party goer #2: Which one?
Party goer #1: The one with the blue shirt and lip ring.
Party goer #2: That's not a lip ring, she's got a piece of meat stuck to her face.

Burlington, Vermont

Overheard by: Tim

Girl: So I think he's taken our relationship a step further.
Gay friend: Oh! What, did he ask you out?
Girl: No.
Gay friend: Did he finally tell you he likes you?
Girl: No! Nothing like that.
Gay friend: Then what?
Girl: He started talking to me exclusively in D&D jargon!
Gay friend: See, this is why we have different tastes in men.

Burlington, Vermont

Overheard by: Doesn't play D&D

Girl on porch: That's the kind of car you lose your virginity in!

Burlington, Vermont

Clerk: I love women. The only thing prettier than a woman is a deer.

Post Office
South Burlington, Vermont

Overheard by: Sweenan A. Mornstuy

Girl: So my jaw hurts really bad, right here. (points)
Boy: Maybe you stop sucking so much dick.
Girl, thinking for a second: Many dicks.

Bennington College
Vermont

Teacher: If there's a bee flying around the classroom, I don't want you to freak out. But, if you get stung by a bee, I want you to jump up, scream, run for the door, run into the door because you didn't open it, scream again, and run out. If you're going to disturb the class, we might as well get a laugh out of it.

Bristol, Vermont

Overheard by: Misaki

Guy: Hold my backpack for me.
Turkish girl: No.
Guy: If you hold my backpack for me, I'll let you into the European Union.

Middlebury College
Middlebury, Vermont

Five-year-old: Daddy, I want ice cream.
Father: How does it feel to want something?

Vermont

Man in mall: Excuse me, where can I hail a taxi?
Mall employee: This is Vermont, dude.
Man in mall: There has to be taxis. There are roads, aren't they?
Mall employee: Nope, no taxis. But lots of guns.

Rutland, Vermont

Overheard by: MeggerzDotCom

Hobo to another: Well, I think I have a very nice smile.

Burlington, Vermont