…Here Comes Another One

Teen girl: This skirt is so short! My legs are freezing!
Teen boy: Mine are fine.
Teen girl: That's because of your intense orgasms.
Teen boy: True.

Starbucks
Burlington, Vermont

Overheard by: Sweenan A. Mornstuy

Posted on July 9, 2018
Bars & Clubs, Body parts, Clothes, Clothing, Compare and contrast, Orgasm, Teens, Vermont

Just Trying to Make Learning Fun.

Girl, frustrated: Because every time I try to study, you yell “sausage” at me!

Bristol, Vermont

Posted on March 20, 2016
Education, Food, Girls, Penis, Stupidity, Vermont, Words

It's Whispering, “Your Friends Will Pay for Your Meal”

Girl #1 (pouring a cup of tea): Awww man, it's all the stuff from the bottom.
Girl #2: Oooh! After you drink it, give it to me and I'll read the tea leaves!
Girl #1: (hands the cup to girl #2)
Girl #2 (with a fake British accent): I see a hippogriff!
Guy: I did not just hear that.

Burlington, Vermont

Overheard by: Misaki

Posted on March 7, 2016
Default, Drinking & drunks, Girls, Guys, Magic, Movies, Vermont

For Some Reason, It Rarely Happens the Other Way Around

College girl, surprised: You went on a blind date last night?
College boy: Yeah, she was nice. She's gonna be a nurse.
Sketchy friend: Dude, that's awesome! Y'know, nurses make the best porn stars.

Coffeeshop
Burlington, Vermont

Posted on February 21, 2016
Beauty, Frat boy types, Jobs & Careers, Porn, Questions, Relationships, Sorority types, Vermont

If You Know What I Mean

Professor: That’s what people in Paris did on Sunday afternoons — they walked their ostriches.

Vermont

Posted on September 12, 2015
Gossip, Teachers, Vermont

That's a Funny Name for a Ghost!

Crazy guy: Hey, June*! Do you know that my cabinets keep opening and closing by themselves?
June*: Well, do you believe in ghosts?
Crazy guy: Yes, I do!
June*: Maybe your place is haunted, and the ghosts just want to say hello.
Crazy guy, after thinking a while: No, I think it's just my schizophrenia.

Burlington, Vermont

Overheard by: Sweenan A. Mornstuy

Posted on July 30, 2015
Crazies, Girls, Guys, Mental illnesses, Sensory experiences, Vermont, Wishes

Dear Social Services, Something’s Afoot.

Child #1: Let’s play house!
Child #2 to child #3: You’re the baby! [Children #1 and #2 start slapping child #3.]Child #3: Stop the game! Stop the game!

Windjammer Inn
Burlington, Vermont

Posted on June 15, 2015
Should have used a condom, Vermont, Violence

In the Meantime All of Our Popsicles Taste Like Mr. Waggles

Prof: So, how's everything at home?
Italian cafe worker: My dog died.
Prof: Oh my god, I'm so sorry. Was he old?
Italian cafe worker: Yes. But I can't bury him. The ground is frozen. There's snow.
Prof: You could have him cremated.
Italian cafe worker: I have him in my freezer. I had to clear it out, my freezer. All the food is out. I'm going to keep him there 'til mud season when I can bury him in the backyard.
Prof: Oh.

Landmark College
Putney, Vermont

Posted on December 1, 2014
Animals, Colleges & Universities, Death & dying, Default, Employees, Foreigners, Teachers, Vermont, Weather, Weirdness

Why Stella Never Got Her Groove Back

Mother heading into Victoria's Secret with five-year-old son: And this time, don't touch anything!

University Mall
Burlington, Vermont

Posted on November 6, 2014
Compare and contrast, Default, Kids, Malls, Moms, Offers and requests, Vermont

Be Careful Whose Army You Enlist In, Dear Reader

Very tall woman: I never hear you talk about your uncle. Is he dead?
Short man: No, he's still alive, but he's a Nazi.
Very tall woman: Ha ha.
Short man: No, really. He's a Nazi. He was in the SS and everything.

Burlington, Vermont

Overheard by: Sweenan A. Mornstuy

Posted on November 6, 2014
Death & dying, Family ties, Guys, Vermont, Women