Kim Jong-il Actually Pulls Off “Hobo” Flawlessly

Hobo, panhandling to passer-bys: Can anyone spare some change so I can buy a little wine, some booze, some cheese, a little pot… Maybe some nuclear weapons…

Vancouver
Canadia

Overheard by: http://psychedelicmess.blogspot.com

Posted on July 9, 2015
Canadia, Drinking & drunks, Drugs, Food, Hobos, Money, Panhandling, Strangers, Violence

If Lifetime Were a Channel for Men

Girl: Oh my gosh, Brian* went off with the sexual predator dude!
Couple, in unison: Bro rape!

Syracuse University
Syracuse, New York

Posted on July 7, 2015
Couples, Girls, New York, Sex, Violence, Weirdness

I Guess That Has Its Positives and Negatives.

Blonde 8th grade girl, reading poster about sex offenders: He assaulted her with a battery?

Amherst, Massachusetts

Overheard by: shay loves julia

Posted on July 7, 2015
Girls, Massachusetts, Questions, Sex, Violence, Weirdness

Who Needs LSD When You've Got This Quote?

YMCA guy #1: People seem generally smaller to me.
YMCA guy #2: Hmmm.
YMCA guy #1: I dunno, people just seem smaller. I feel like I could walk up to anyone and smash them in the face. But I am really predatory. I wish it was the middle ages, I would be all, “I?m the Goverrnator!”
Elvis impersonator, swinging his hips: John Edwards got nothing on me!

Baton Rouge, Louisiana

Posted on July 5, 2015
Guys, Louisiana, Violence, Weirdness, Wishes, YMCA

If You Make Us Sleep in Wood-shavings Again

Guy to girlfriend: Next break I'm going to hug you like a retard squeezing a hamster!

Burnaby
Canadia

Overheard by: Doesn't Like Hamsters Anyway

Posted on July 3, 2015
Animals, Canadia, Compare and contrast, Couples, Stupidity, Violence

According to This Good Housekeeping Checklist

Dejected neighbor: Yeah, I know. I’m more suited to kill werewolves than produce orgasms.

Derby, Connecticut

Overheard by: j

Posted on June 27, 2015
Compare and contrast, Connecticut, Default, Guys, Orgasm, Stupidity, Violence

Usually They Just Ask Us to Keep the Blood Splatter to a Minimum

Lady on cell pumping gas): Y'know, even when he picked up the knife, I just didn't expect the cops to get involved…

Shell Gas Station
Atlanta, Georgia

Overheard by: Just filling my tank, thanks

Posted on June 27, 2015
Crimes, Default, Georgia, On the phone, Stores, Violence, Women

The Kind Of Boy Who Grows Up to Be President

Eight-year-old boy playing Nintendo: Die! Die! Diediediediediediedie!
Older brother: Isn't that a little violent?
Eight-year-old: I'm goddam Kirby! I can do anything I want!

Houston, Texas

Posted on June 24, 2015
Death & dying, Default, Family, Games, Guys, Kids, Offers and requests, Questions, Texas, Violence

You Have to Put Balls in a Lot Of Faces Before Your Find Someone Who Likes It

13-year-old boy in pool: Guys, let's play water Pokemon!
Friends: Okay!
13-year-old boy: I'll be Scuba Scott. Scuba Scott uses ball-to-face! (hits friend in face with ball)
Friend: Owwww! Scott, why'd you do that?!
13-year-old boy: It's super-effective!

Recreation Center Pool
Colorado

Posted on June 23, 2015
Colorado, Friends, Pop culture, Violence, Weirdness

The Old Testament God Rides the MTA With His Mom

Eight-year-old boy: Mommy… I can't wait for my day of vengeance to be at hand.
Mother: I know he's unlikable, but there are quieter ways.
Eight-year-old boy, wielding stick in hand: I wanna use this.
Mother: He'll shush up if you put a bow and arrow through his eye.

MTA
Manhattan, New York

Overheard by: PatriotAhckt

Posted on June 22, 2015
Advice, Feelings, Kids, Moms, New York, Violence, Wishes

Violence