Last Time I Messed Up the Order and Ruined the Whole Thing.

Wannabe thug, carrying Celtics flag: First I'm gonna get blood on it, and then ash!

Portsmouth, New Hampshire

Posted on August 26, 2015
New Hampshire, Threats, Thugs, Violence

You're Right, That Is U.S. Foreign Policy

Waitress talking in the kitchen: I'm going to come back there and smack you till you smile. (now sings loudly) I'm going to come back there and smack you till you smile!

International House of Pancakes
Kansas

Posted on August 14, 2015
Default, Employees, Kansas, Restaurants, Violence, Weirdness

Today's Young Woman Is Proud to Display Everything She's Got

Library worker girl: That's a cute bag.
Library worker girl with clear purse: Thanks!
Boss man: But then everyone can see everything you have!
Library worker girl with clear purse: It's not like I got a gun or anything… I can always hide things between the books…
Library worker girl: Like your gun?

Kent State University Library
Kent, Ohio

Posted on August 14, 2015
Books, Bosses, Colleges & Universities, Compliments, Coworkers, Fashion, Ohio, Questions, Violence

Georgia Lesbians Do Not Play

Teen girl in dept. store: I need to buy her a present, but it can't be jewelry. She doesn't like jewelry. She likes weapons.

Gainesville, Georgia

Posted on August 11, 2015
Georgia, Gifts, Shopping, Stores, Teens, Violence

A Few Black Eyes, and They're All, “Wah Wah Wah!”

Female customs and border patrol officer: So I wasn't surprised when he left his wife for his girlfriend, but I was surprised by the domestic battery charge. But… you know how women can be.

http://eavesdropdc.blogspot.com/2008/08/you-know-how-women-can-be.html

Overheard by: Jan

Posted on July 31, 2015
Cops, Crimes, Eavesdrop DC, Gender issues, Relationships, Violence

Dooming You to Come on Time for All Eternity

Professor: When you’re late, Eric* will take down your name. The first time he’ll just tack a threatening note on your door. What did we decide you would do for the second tardy?
Eric: Slash their tires.
Professor: Right. And the third time we’ll make pornographic images of you on Photoshop and put them on the Internet.

Hartford, Connecticut

Overheard by: Claire

Posted on July 29, 2015
Connecticut, Default, Internet, Porn, Students, Teachers, Threats, Time Management, Violence

Nice Kevlar Shirt, by the Way

Dude: That guy totally has a gun.
Chick (offended): Just because he has sunglasses doesn't mean he has a gun!

High School
Englewood, Colorado

Posted on July 29, 2015
Chicks, Clothes, Colorado, Default, Guys, School [Elem., Middle, & High], Violence

…Ever See Crouching Vibrator, Hidden Weapon?

Teenage girl, on self defense: I think that 'bob' really works. People know I'm not messing around when they get my dildo thrown at them.

Hillsboro, Oregon

Overheard by: Hannah

Posted on July 25, 2015
Girls, Oregon, Toys, Violence, Weirdness

And This Time Don’t Roll on Me Just Because They Offer You Cookies and Juice

Little boy: You used to have a pocket knife, mommy!
Mother, laughing nervously: No, I didn’t!
Little boy: Yes you did! You used to!
Nervous mother: No, I never did! I never had a pocket knife! Please don’t tell the police that!

YMCA
Hollywood, California

Overheard by: Muffin

Posted on July 25, 2015
California, Crimes, Default, Fears, Guys, Kids, Moms, Offers and requests, Violence, Weirdness, YMCA

But the Fox Would Never Forgive Me

Man with strange beard to friend: My girlfriend would love me forever if I got her a fox's skull.

London
England

Posted on July 24, 2015
Animals, England, Guys, Relationships, Violence, Weirdness

Violence