Guy to friend: So, this weekend I was going to go down to Chicago to riot, beat people up, and break shit, but I realized I would have missed my dutch class on Monday, so I thought it would be a bad idea.
http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/399231319/uh-huh.html
Overheard by: shiggity shaft
15-year-old girl to friend: And then she tells me, like three weeks later: “You know how I was angry at you? Well, I punched your horse.”
School Cafeteria
New Zealand
Woman on cell: You know what you should do? You should punch her in the temple. (pause) Well, you need to punch her in the temple so you can resolve this in a professional manner.
MARTA Train
Atlanta, Georgia
Sports fan to another: I'm telling you: you swing a wheel of cheese and hit a bird, that bird's going down.
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Laure
Guy wearing shirt reading “Dude. Seriously. Fuck you”: Some say I have a face for date rape.
State Fair
California
Overheard by: Sonni
Cowboy #1, in cowboy dialect: One thing I can tell you, if one of them bites you on the lip, don't panic. Just wait till it starts to let go and then push it off of you.
Cowboy #2: You know, that's right.
Denny's
Willcox, Arizona
Overheard by: Alan B. Barley
Deli worker : Hey, do you got a pen that works?
Colleague: Nah, I must have dropped mine in the parking lot after I stabbed someone with it.
Long Island, New York
Woman to group of girls: I would rather sword fight you than make baskets and decorate cakes.
St. Louis, Missouri
Soldier: So I guess I'm leaving around April-ish.
Girl: Why can't they send you to Paris? Or Greece?
Soldier: Um… Cause we aren't at war there?
Girl: Well, we should be!
Ft. Campbell, Kentucky
Boyfriend to girlfriend: Yeah, I'd throw a snowball at the Princess of Sweden. Knock that tiara right off her fucking head.
Girlfriend: Totally. You'd be like, “who's Princess now, bitch?”
Vancouver
Canadia
