Five-year-old girl to ten-year-old sister: I don't know what you're so worried about. As long as it's not you who throws the first punch, the principal won't yell at you. That's always what happens with me.
Taco Bell
Plainview, New York
Overheard by: Tina
Overweight middle-aged woman, about infant crying non-stop: Oh my god, seriously, somebody just kill it.
Target
Norman, Oklahoma
Girl #1: So my two-year-old cousin… You know, the one who laughs at me, and threw his bottle and his book at me?
Girl #2: Yeah.
Girl #1: Well, this one time he like pushed me down on the floor, and like… licked my face.
Girl #2: Wow! Your two-year-old cousin is like a combination of all the boys you've met here.
London
Ontario
Canadia
Guy to friend: So, this weekend I was going to go down to Chicago to riot, beat people up, and break shit, but I realized I would have missed my dutch class on Monday, so I thought it would be a bad idea.
http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/399231319/uh-huh.html
Overheard by: shiggity shaft
15-year-old girl to friend: And then she tells me, like three weeks later: “You know how I was angry at you? Well, I punched your horse.”
School Cafeteria
New Zealand
Woman on cell: You know what you should do? You should punch her in the temple. (pause) Well, you need to punch her in the temple so you can resolve this in a professional manner.
MARTA Train
Atlanta, Georgia
Sports fan to another: I'm telling you: you swing a wheel of cheese and hit a bird, that bird's going down.
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Laure
Guy wearing shirt reading “Dude. Seriously. Fuck you”: Some say I have a face for date rape.
State Fair
California
Overheard by: Sonni
Cowboy #1, in cowboy dialect: One thing I can tell you, if one of them bites you on the lip, don't panic. Just wait till it starts to let go and then push it off of you.
Cowboy #2: You know, that's right.
Denny's
Willcox, Arizona
Overheard by: Alan B. Barley
Deli worker : Hey, do you got a pen that works?
Colleague: Nah, I must have dropped mine in the parking lot after I stabbed someone with it.
Long Island, New York
