Nobody Expects a Gay Guy to Carry a Speculum

Gay guy: Give me a sip of your drink!
Girl: No!
Gay guy: Give me a sip or I'll bite your cervix!

Military College
Georgia

Overheard by: Amanda

Posted on June 23, 2010
Body parts, Colleges & Universities, Drinking & drunks, Georgia, Girls, Offers and requests, Queers, Threats, Violence

I Can't Believe the Army Rejected Me

Guy #1: Hey, did you ever watch Paris Hilton's sex tape?
Guy #2: Yeah, it wasn't a turn-on though, she's in pain. Man, I couldn't wank to that.
Guy #1: Yeah, it'd be like wanking to a rape video.
Guy #3: I'd wank to that.

Glasgow
Scotland

Posted on June 20, 2010
About celebrities, Guys, Masturbation, Movies, Sex, UK, Violence

The Kind Of Guy Who Takes Women's Studies Classes to Meet Chicks

Women speaking to crowd at rally: We're here to take a stand against violence towards girls and women!
Solo guy in middle of the crowd: Woo! Yeah!

Tucson, Arizona

Overheard by: Can you yell innapropriate?

Posted on June 1, 2010
Arizona, Gender issues, Guys, Politics, Strangers, Violence, Women

Where Kids from Band Camp End Up: Explained.

Female violinist, after conductor walks past: Do you ever want to slap Dr. Muller*'s ass? Cause I almost just did.
Female cellist: He has a doctorate in orchestral conducting.
Female violinist: And an ass I want to tap right now.

College Orchestra Tour Bus
Clive, Iowa

Posted on May 31, 2010
Ass, Bus, Coworkers, Education, Iowa, Violence, Wishes

Being Catholic, We Already Hate Ourselves

Boyfriend to girlfriend: If anyone ever walked in on us having sex, they'd swear we hate each other.

Saint Peter's College
New Jersey

Posted on May 3, 2010
Colleges & Universities, Hubbies, New Jersey, Sex, Violence

Tonight's Movie: The Long Goodbye

Nurse to elderly woman trying to escape from old folks' home: Come on, ma'am, we need to get you back inside.
Elderly woman: I don't need to get back inside, I need to get home! Rape! Rape!

Christchurch
New Zealand

Posted on May 2, 2010
Lies, New Zealand, Nurses, Old folks, Sex, Violence

College: In a Nutshell.

Freshman girl to friends: Guys, I really need to ask you a huge favor. I think I might be pregnant and you guys might have to punch me in the stomach to get rid of it.

North Bay
Ontario
Canadia

Posted on April 23, 2010
Abortion, Canadia, Pregnancy, Students, Stupidity, Violence

Until Its Sour Cream Came Out

Girl to girlfriend: If our burritos were in jail, my burrito would rape your burrito.

Chipotle
Northridge, California

Posted on April 19, 2010
California, Compare and contrast, Food, Girls, Restaurants, Sex, Violence

When Camel Toe Becomes Hammer Toe

Teacher: Pants so tight it could snap your vagina off!

Sex-Ed Class
Tampa, Florida

Posted on April 14, 2010
Class, Clothing, Compare and contrast, Florida, Teachers, Vagina, Violence

…Oh Shoot, I Ruined the Surprise.

Young lady with English accent, on cell: I told you I was going to be home in 15 minutes. (pause) I'm going to kill you. I'm going to stab you in the eye with a fork.

Chico, California

Overheard by: xfleshxwoundx

Posted on April 1, 2010
California, Foreigners, On the phone, Threats, Time Management, Violence

Violence