Until Its Sour Cream Came Out

Girl to girlfriend: If our burritos were in jail, my burrito would rape your burrito.

Chipotle
Northridge, California

Posted on April 19, 2010
California, Compare and contrast, Food, Girls, Restaurants, Sex, Violence

When Camel Toe Becomes Hammer Toe

Teacher: Pants so tight it could snap your vagina off!

Sex-Ed Class
Tampa, Florida

Posted on April 14, 2010
Class, Clothing, Compare and contrast, Florida, Teachers, Vagina, Violence

…Oh Shoot, I Ruined the Surprise.

Young lady with English accent, on cell: I told you I was going to be home in 15 minutes. (pause) I'm going to kill you. I'm going to stab you in the eye with a fork.

Chico, California

Overheard by: xfleshxwoundx

Posted on April 1, 2010
California, Foreigners, On the phone, Threats, Time Management, Violence

Frankly, You Should Be More Worried About That Burrito

Five-year-old girl to ten-year-old sister: I don't know what you're so worried about. As long as it's not you who throws the first punch, the principal won't yell at you. That's always what happens with me.

Taco Bell
Plainview, New York

Overheard by: Tina

Posted on March 31, 2010
Education, Kids, New York, Restaurants, Violence

It's the High Notes That Hurt Your Ears

Overweight middle-aged woman, about infant crying non-stop: Oh my god, seriously, somebody just kill it.

Target
Norman, Oklahoma

Posted on March 24, 2010
Crimes, Fat people, Kids, Oklahoma, Violence, Wishes

Or All the Dogs You've Ever Owned

Girl #1: So my two-year-old cousin… You know, the one who laughs at me, and threw his bottle and his book at me?
Girl #2: Yeah.
Girl #1: Well, this one time he like pushed me down on the floor, and like… licked my face.
Girl #2: Wow! Your two-year-old cousin is like a combination of all the boys you've met here.

London
Ontario
Canadia

Posted on March 18, 2010
Canadia, Compare and contrast, Family ties, Girls, Kids, Violence, Weirdness

I'm Almost Finished Whittling My Wooden Shoes!

Guy to friend: So, this weekend I was going to go down to Chicago to riot, beat people up, and break shit, but I realized I would have missed my dutch class on Monday, so I thought it would be a bad idea.

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/399231319/uh-huh.html

Overheard by: shiggity shaft

Posted on March 8, 2010
Guys, Overheard in Minneapolis, Time Management, Violence

Right in the Seabiscuit

15-year-old girl to friend: And then she tells me, like three weeks later: “You know how I was angry at you? Well, I punched your horse.”

School Cafeteria
New Zealand

Posted on February 14, 2010
Animals, Feelings, New Zealand, School [Elem., Middle, & High], Teens, Violence

Tonight on Ask Nurse Ninja

Woman on cell: You know what you should do? You should punch her in the temple. (pause) Well, you need to punch her in the temple so you can resolve this in a professional manner.

MARTA Train
Atlanta, Georgia

Posted on February 7, 2010
Advice, Body parts, Georgia, On the phone, Train, Violence, Women

The Advent Of a New Sport

Sports fan to another: I'm telling you: you swing a wheel of cheese and hit a bird, that bird's going down.

Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Laure

Posted on February 5, 2010
Birds, Food, Jocks, Pennsylvania, Violence, Weirdness

Violence