Weirdness

Casanova: This is a replica of the helmet I wear when I fuck my wife.

Cincinnati, Ohio

Overheard by: shadow

Woman: I'm glad all my friendships are online!

Melbourne
Australia

Biology prof: So the dinosaurs were eating all the iridium poisoned plants, and dying of drug overdoses. That's why you find them in all these weird positions, they were having bad trips and just… dying.

Albuquerque, New Mexico

Overheard by: Danielle

Architecture tutor critiquing students' poster: When you look at it, it starts making some irrational type of sense.

Unitec Polytech
Auckland
New Zealand

Roommate on phone: You've gotta get through the ribcage.

University of Oklahoma
Norman, Oklahoma

Overheard by: Wondering what they're planning.

Youngish girl to pair of friends: My vagina is ruined after last night.

Melbourne
Australia

Young mom, looking disgusted at a paparazzi photo of Pamela Anderson: That’s disgusting.
Four-year-old son: What?
Young mom: Honey, what’s wrong with this picture?
Four-year-old son: I can see her penis.

Bowling Alley
Indiana

Overheard by: Aunt Oblivious

Pilot #1: He flew to Myrtle Beach to meet some girl he met online. We were expecting to find him naked in a bathtub full of ice missing a kidney.
Flight attendant: Who would want his kidney? He's so short!
Pilot #2: Hey, kids need kidneys too! Little kids!

Atlanta, Georgia

Prof: I like to click on the descriptive statistics checkbox in order to pleasure myself!

Ball State University
Muncie, Indiana

Overheard by: Can't believe she said that

Crazy bag lady, loudly: I don't suck dick for pussy! I don't suck dick for pussy! I don't suck dick for pussy!
(sits down next to another passenger on the subway)
Crazy bag lady, now in passenger's face: I don't suck dick for pussy!
(female passenger gets up and moves)
Crazy bag lady: Why you jumping? Why you jumping, bitch!? You weren't jumpin' last night when that guy put his long ass dick in you last night!
Female passenger: Excuse me, ma'am, don't say that to me! You don't know me!
(subway train stops)
Conductor: City Hall station!
Female passenger: Excuse me, sir, there's a crazy lady on the subway harassing the other passengers.
Conductor: Oh, could you point her out to me?
(female passenger points to crazy woman yelling)
Conductor: Ma'am, are you bothering people?
Crazy bag lady: Why you tryin' to fuck me standing up!? Why don't you fuck me lying down like a gentleman!
Conductor: Ma'am, I'm calling the police.

Broad Street Line Subway
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania