Teacher: I got a question for you guys… If you're flying at 50,000 feet and the left rear tire falls off your canoe, how many pancakes does it take to cover a doghouse and why?
Students: What the fuck?
Teacher: Clearly, the answer is 7, cause ice cream has no bones!
Student #1: Why do they keep giving us teachers on crack?
Student #2: I dunno, man. I dunno…
Inside Freshman Classroom
El Paso, Texas
Customer: Excuse me. I just have to know, are you Polynesian?
Worker: No, I'm Native American.
Customer: Oh. Where are they from?
Utah
Little girl to mom: My stomach controls me!
Campsite, California
Guy going up escalator to friend: Did you see that? That guy just tried to touch my butt.
Friend: Don't complain, he succeeded in touching mine!
Washington, DC
Spanish professor, as class leaves on Friday: Be careful driving when you drink this weekend!
Hanover College
Hanover, Indiana
Overheard by: whitney
Sweet old lady: I'm a pretty wild gardener.
Bellingham, Washington
Man #1: How’s your wife?
Man #2: How should I know?
Man #1: What do you mean: “How should I know?”? She’s your wife! Don’t you talk to her?
Man #2: Not since she got the restraining order on me.
Huxley, Iowa
Overheard by: Hondo
Little girl to dog: Lucy, no! I admonish you!
Perry Square
Erie, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Kat
Blonde on cell: We got a nice hotel room for our cat.
Montgomery and California
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: Ladle
