Oh Honey, I Would Put Your Marlboro Out With My Tongue

Obviously-not-18-year-old girl, handing man money: Go get me a pack of Camels number nine, please.
20-something man: Are you serious? They're going to think I'm fruity. (walks into store, immediately walks back out) I can't buy them. That girl is working.
Obviously-not-18-year-old girl: I'm sorry, would you like me to buy Marlboro Reds? That's a manlier cigarette.
20-something man: That'd be great. (goes back in and returns with Marlboro Reds): Sorry about that. Uh, if I don't get my type of cigarettes then I think they'd get suspicious.
Obviously-not-18-year-old girl: You don't even smoke.

Akron, Ohio

Posted on August 23, 2015
Girls, Guys, Offers and requests, Ohio, Smoking, Weirdness

And Kept Me Awake by Leading “Expeditions” Into My Sock Drawer

Girl #1: I found that doll the other day.
Girl #2: What doll?
Girl #1: The Steve Irwin doll, you know, the one that used to look at me creepy while I was sleeping.
Girl #2: Ohhhh, that doll!

Bleeker’s Bowling Alley
Chicago, Illinois

Posted on August 23, 2015
About celebrities, Default, Fears, Girls, Illinois, Questions, Weirdness

The Way I Do When I Think Of Our Faculty Meetings

Political science professor to class, explaining the term “political actors”: Political actors can be political parties, politicians, organizations of different kinds…and by organizations I do not think of a group of pedophile carpenters gathering in a living room.

NTNU University
Norway

Overheard by: Amused student

Posted on August 21, 2015
Colleges & Universities, Compare and contrast, Default, Europe, Politics, Teachers, Weirdness, Words

Warm Syrup Seemed Like a Great Idea–at First

Young mother to four-year-old boy: C'mon, sweetie, let's wash your hands.
Sarcastic father: Yeah, dude, you're disgusting.
Boy (increasingly louder): Yes. I am disgusting. You know what else is disgusting? My penis!

IHOP
Hammond, Louisiana

Overheard by: The Only Small Press in Bumfuck

Posted on August 21, 2015
Dads, Default, Guys, Health & Hygiene, Kids, Louisiana, Moms, Penis, Restaurants, Weirdness

But Rocks Definitely Are.

Professor: I think fish are not animals. I don't have a concrete answer, but I think they are not animals.

Michigan State University

Overheard by: sjshock

Posted on August 20, 2015
Animals, Colleges & Universities, Default, Michigan, Science, Stupidity, Teachers, Weirdness

Unless Jesus Got Jealous

Girl: You know, Santa and Superman would make an adorable gay couple.

Hume-Fogg High School
Nashville, Tennessee

Posted on August 20, 2015
Default, Gender issues, Girls, School [Elem., Middle, & High], Sexuality, Tennessee, Weirdness, Wishes

You Know How I Pine for It

McGill student in cafe, on phone: Don't you dare talk to me about softwood lumber!

Montreal
Quebec
Canadia

Overheard by: j.leung

Posted on August 20, 2015
Canadia, Default, Names, Offers and requests, Students, Weirdness

You're Right, That Is U.S. Foreign Policy

Waitress talking in the kitchen: I'm going to come back there and smack you till you smile. (now sings loudly) I'm going to come back there and smack you till you smile!

International House of Pancakes
Kansas