Elderly woman on cell: Hello? What? How many goats? Give it to Nancy*. Just leave it on her porch. It's just one and I don't want it. (long pause) Put it there and ring the doorbell. I don't care how you do it, I'm on vacation, don't bother me. (hangs up phone)
Louis Armstrong International Airport
New Orleans, Louisiana
Overheard by: T Perk
13-year-old boy in pool: Guys, let's play water Pokemon!
Friends: Okay!
13-year-old boy: I'll be Scuba Scott. Scuba Scott uses ball-to-face! (hits friend in face with ball)
Friend: Owwww! Scott, why'd you do that?!
13-year-old boy: It's super-effective!
Recreation Center Pool
Colorado
Woman sitting in front of bank: Ya know, I don't believe in earthquakes…
Market Street
San Francisco, California
Conductor: Welcome on board the 4:15 service to Wolverhampton, calling at Smethwick, Sandwell and… Oh god, my head… (mic cuts out for a while) Sandwell… and Dudley, and Wolverhampton… (breathes heavily, deep sigh, mic cuts out again)
Birmingham to Wolverhampton Train
England
Overheard by: xSJBx
Slutty girl in college dorm: Yeah, I know four or five guys who wear Magnums… Bitches are huge!
Lubbock, Texas
Overheard by: Maximagnum
Girlfriend to boyfriend: So should I stop peeing in front of you ?
Boyfriend to girlfriend: No, I don't mind. I don't care…just don't let me see you poop, that's just too fucking weird.
Michigan
Overheard by: da da
Teenage boy, to group of friends: You take an ugly chick, stick her on a bike, and she's okay! (friends nod)
Old Town
Pasadena, California
Overheard by: The Girl, Kat
Teenage male #1: Wow! You smell really different today!
Teenage male #2: Yeah, my clarinet teacher changed her hair product.
Vancouver
Canadia
Guy: You know when you do a “Find File” in Windows? Yeah. I want to kill the little animated dog… It bothers me.
Girl: Hahaha… Yeah. It’s better than the paperclip.
Guy: Meh… Only because he doesn’t pop up unexpectedly. Clippy was kind of cool if he weren’t in the way.
Girl: Thats what he wants you to think! He makes you feel bad for hating him!
Guy: Why this makes me want to have an animated kitten running around my desktop, I don’t know. I used to have such a program.
Girl: I had a stripper on my laptop. She danced and stripped whenever music came on.
Guy: You’re such a closet nympho.
Girl: Yeah. For my dreams class, we have to write all our dreams down and share them with the class. Last night I dreamt I was trekking through a jungle in gold prada heels to find my doctor to get an HIV test. I’m not sure I want the class psychoanalyzing that one.
Portland, Maine
Professor: I invent things too! My great invention is this toast, and you make it in a toaster, and then you stick it in the freezer. And, like, when you want toast, you just put it back in the toaster…
Students: (confused silence)
Professor: Man, no one understands me! (stomps out)
SUNY
Geneseo, New York
Overheard by: Jeni
