Guy: So all I have to do is get some gel and spike my butt hair.
Target
Salem, Massachusetts
Guy: So all I have to do is get some gel and spike my butt hair.
Target
Salem, Massachusetts
Engineer #1: We’re playing my little ponies?!
Engineer #2: Oh, god.
Engineer #1: Dude, we’re gonna fucking kill them! [Laughs maniacally].
Northwestern University
Evanston, Illinois
Really tall hippie to really short girl in overalls: If that's what you think, then why can't I rape dead people?
El Campesino
Altoona, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Louise H
Queer to date: Do you have a fist up your ass?
Center City, Philadelphia
Overheard by: keeeeem
50-ish white lady: He’s a Christian rapper, but during the day he sells insurance.
Tempe, Arizona
Overheard by: Ashley
Guy: How many nipples does Julie have, again?
Ottawa
Canadia
Overheard by: hopefully not enough to breastfeed quintuplets
White trash man to white trash woman: So did you hear the news?
White trash woman: No, what?
White trash man (sighing despairingly): Aggie broke her corn-broom.
White trash woman, looking stricken: Oh, no!
Giant Tiger Store
Napanee, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: Rockbot
Elderly woman on cell: Hello? What? How many goats? Give it to Nancy*. Just leave it on her porch. It's just one and I don't want it. (long pause) Put it there and ring the doorbell. I don't care how you do it, I'm on vacation, don't bother me. (hangs up phone)
Louis Armstrong International Airport
New Orleans, Louisiana
Overheard by: T Perk
13-year-old boy in pool: Guys, let's play water Pokemon!
Friends: Okay!
13-year-old boy: I'll be Scuba Scott. Scuba Scott uses ball-to-face! (hits friend in face with ball)
Friend: Owwww! Scott, why'd you do that?!
13-year-old boy: It's super-effective!
Recreation Center Pool
Colorado
