Advice

Too Realistic, Huh?

Teenage girl on bus: Oh, fuck. What is this world coming to? It's like it gets worse and worse.
Teenage guy sitting beside her: What? No. This wouldn't be the worst thing that's happened. Bad things happen all the time. Think about worse things going on right now, or that have been going on, for like, forever.
Teenage girl: It feels like it's getting worse, though.
Teenage guy: But it's not, though.
Teenage girl: Yeah, but, these bad things keep happening. It always keeps happening.
(pause)
Teenage guy: I wanna go see Watchmen.
Teenage girl: Don't, I heard it's not that good.

Bus
Ontario
Canadia

Stupid SPCA

20-something to another: If you want to sacrifice a horse, do it in your backyard.

Metro State College of Denver
Denver, Colorado

…But Isn't That Why I'm Here?

Cheerful student: Cheer up! It's going to be okay.
Glum professor: Says who? You?
Cheerful student: Yes!
Glum professor: But you don't know anything.
Cheerful student: True!

UC Berkeley School of Journalism
California

It’s Great Anal Lube

Perky middle-aged lady: And that’s what’s so interesting about salad dressing!

East Aurora
New York

The Old Testament God Rides the MTA With His Mom

Eight-year-old boy: Mommy… I can't wait for my day of vengeance to be at hand.
Mother: I know he's unlikable, but there are quieter ways.
Eight-year-old boy, wielding stick in hand: I wanna use this.
Mother: He'll shush up if you put a bow and arrow through his eye.

MTA
Manhattan, New York

Overheard by: PatriotAhckt

Here, Have Some Incense and Peppermints

Hippie guy: I suggest you stop picking up small animals and fruit skins. It’s not good for you.

Eugene, Oregon

Anorexics: 0 Normal Girls: 1

Freshmen dorm girl: Take it from someone who swallows quite often: it's actually pretty fun!

Washington State University
Pullman, Washington

That’s Just Because You Didn’t Understand What ‘Phone Sex’ Meant

Guy: Just trust me on this one and go along with it one more time.
Girl: I did that last time and ended up with random things up my ass.

Stoneham, Massachusetts

How the British Contend with Murderers

Reporter guy: If he is guilty, take his chandeliers.

http://community.livejournal.com/overheardlondon/18706.html

Overheard by:

The Way Pittsburgh Stole the Overheard Concept

Professor, about a book currently sold out at the campus bookstore: This book has been required in my class for years. All the upperclassmen have this book. Borrow it! (whispering) Steal it!

Point Park University
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: ZB

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