Professor, on last day of lecture: You are all pregnant.
(students awkwardly looking around and extremely uncomfortable)
Professor: …with your futures.
University of Wisconsin
Professor, on last day of lecture: You are all pregnant.
(students awkwardly looking around and extremely uncomfortable)
Professor: …with your futures.
University of Wisconsin
Girl #1: What is meant to be will always find its way.
Girl #2: Oh, don't give me that crap right now!
UCLA, California
Overheard by: Mallory
Teen goth girl to crying friend: Ignore the guys. They’re all jerks, especially at this age. Go for the ones that are, like, twenty. Actually, that’s a little young. I aim for the men in their 30s or 40s. That way their kids are your age, so you can bond better with them.
Heritage Park
Calgary, Alberta
Canadia
Overheard by: c.j.
Chick to friend: You should marry a fish! Then you can have sex and have mermaid babies!
High school
Marietta, Georgia
Overheard by: me
Lady shopper on cell: I was just told by a Mexican guy that I should eat more cheese, so I'll have a bigger ass.
Value Village
Bellingham, Washington
Guy on phone: Look, now that you're an American you can't be doing that kind of stuff…
University of Central Florida
Overheard by: Michelle
Loud fat ghetto chick to baby: See dat? See dat baby walking? That's what you need to be doing. I'm sick of carrying yo' ass around.
Target Parking Lot
Florissant, Missouri
Guy #1: So yeah, you can get in the water with them but you can’t touch the manatees unless they swim up to you.
Guy #2: Sort of like a strip club.
Bar
Kansas City, Missouri
Overheard by: Matt
Straight guy: I really need your advice about this girl.
Gay guy: Stick it in her butt!
Straight guy: No. Her mom set us up on this date…
Gay guy: Stick it in her butt!
Straight guy: You just suggested that. I mean, I like her but I definitely don’t want to date her, and we’re supposed to hang out this weekend, but I don’t know what to do with her.
Gay guy: Well, just be like: “Hey, do you want to toss a Frisbee in the arboretum?”
Straight guy: And if she says yes, be like: “Okay, do you want to toss my salad in the arboretum?”
Gay guy: Awesome.
Lancaster, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: $kank
Student to another: You're an asshole!
Science teacher: If you're going to say that, you should use the proper term, which is “anus.”
High School
Auckland
New Zealand
