Little girl: So when do we get to see the unicorns?
Dad: There don't have any. Unicorns aren't real.
Little girl: Even African unicorns?
Dad: No, they don't exist either. And even if there were real unicorns, they'd probably be from Europe.
Zoo
Honolulu, Hawaii
Overheard by: mel
Guy, walking angrily: She thinks that vampires evolved, so now they can be out in the sun like normal people. She also thinks it's degrading to have sex in any position other than missionary, when she's sober.
University of Delaware
Overheard by: what???
Hipster girl #1: Those are nice (points at earrings), where did you get them?
Hipster girl #2: Oh, I stole these. I only steal earrings, for some reason. So did your parents ever get those goats for their farm?
Hipster girl #1: Not yet, but my mom said they're going to start growing pot.
Hipster girl #2: That's cool.
Cafe
Durham, North Carolina
Overheard by: Vincent Ignatius
Little boy, watching killer whale: It's a cow made of fish!
Marineland
Ontario
Canadia
Girl: But she said you were cute.
Guy: Yeah but it’s like: puppies are cute, but you don’t fuck a puppy.
New York City
New York
Overheard by: I’m more of a cat person…
Brunette: I don't think dinosaurs were ever real.
Blonde: Why is that?
Brunette: If they were really that big, only like ten could fit on earth. They wouldn't even be able to walk around much.
Blonde: Oh, you're probably right. I've never thought about it like that before.
Northern Michigan University
Woman on phone: Okay, so go past the monkey and we'll be right here!
Harrison, Michigan
Woman #1: I love the smell of rain.
Woman #2: The only thing I smell is elephant shit.
Alabama State Fair
Overheard by: Wendy and Joe
Guy #1: When he gets excited, that kid laughs like a hyena.
Guy #2: Yeah, I know.
Guy #1, trying to mimic the laugh but failing: I don't know how he does it.
New Jersey
