Animals

Son, in dog food aisle: Why don't we buy this one?
Mom: Because he won't eat it.
Son: But it's cheaper!
Mom: And therefore not good for him.
Son: I don't see what the problem is, he'll be dead soon.

Tesco Supermarket
England

Girl #1: I have cows in my head!
Boy: What?
Girl #1: We're playing “Carry on Wayward Son” in orchestra. C-o-w-s.
Boy: Oh.
Girl #2: You really need to tell people that before you tell them you have cows in your head.

St. Joseph High School
Michigan

15-year-old girl to friend: And then she tells me, like three weeks later: “You know how I was angry at you? Well, I punched your horse.”

School Cafeteria
New Zealand

Girlfriend to boyfriend: What I want to know is why the hell people haven't domesticated the rhino yet!

Royal Ontario Museum
Toronto
Canadia

Overheard by: Surprised

Five-year-old boys, in unison, about female lion strutting around: The mamacita is awake! The mamacita is awake!
Harried mother: I said let's not say that word… Let's say “elfman” is awake!”

San Diego Zoo
California

Fat effeminate thug: Bitch, are you a daddy's gurl o' you jus' anotha gorilla?

North Hollywood
California

Overheard by: busninja

Hungover girl: Oh my god! Look at my hair, it's a mess! I look like a horse's vagina!

Flight above London
England

Woman, watching magnificent poodle: Oh my god, that's the most beautiful dog in the world!
Man, wounded: Hey! I'm the most beautiful dog in the world!

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Five-year-old boy: There are moles in my bed that are all named Leroy. They keep me warm.

Eltham
Australia

Overheard by: martinasnape

Boy #1: Your girlfriend's name is Emily, right?
Boy #2: Kate.
Boy #1, shrugging: They're both animals.
Boy #2, agreeing: Both start with vowels.
Boy #1: What?
Boy #2: What?

Los Angeles, California

Overheard by: MaggieB