Sometimes It's a Good Time, Sometimes It's a Good Story

Woman #1, as bus passes bar: See that bar? There's another location closer to the lake. My dad and I went there for a beer right after I first moved here. I felt something brush my leg and I looked down and saw a rat! I swear, it was a foot and a half long!
Woman #2: Oh my god! What did you do?
Woman #1: Oh, it was crazy. The owner disappeared upstairs and came back with a baseball bat but by that time the rat was hiding between the bar and the wall. So he runs off again and comes back with a blowtorch! It's like, 'helloooo, this whole bar is made of wood!”
Woman #2: So what happened?
Woman #1: They took my address and that Monday I got a bouquet of flowers. For not freaking out, I guess. I dunno. I've never been back…

Chicago, Illinois

Posted on April 22, 2010
Animals, Etiquette, Illinois, Women

…Who Refuses to Be Confined to a Single Cell.

Girl: I am not an amoeba, I'm a free man!

Chatswood Station
Sydney
Australia

Posted on April 12, 2010
Animals, Australia, Compare and contrast, Girls, Train, Weirdness

How Many Words a Minute Can It Type?

Man to another: What's the street value of a giant frog?

Sydney
Australia

Posted on April 6, 2010
Animals, Australia, Guys, Money, Weirdness

…Since That's What This Pie Looks Like.

Bakery clerk: It's not like my dog is going to run off and do drugs!
Confused person next in line: Um, ha ha, you never know.
Bakery clerk: Oh, we were just talking about childbirth.

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Posted on March 26, 2010
Animals, Birthing, Compare and contrast, Customers, Drugs, Employees, Pennsylvania, Weirdness

I Think I Had This Roommate…

Scruffy 20-something guy on cell: I don't care what you do, just leave my fucking rats alone!

Eureka, California

Overheard by: Barry Evans

Posted on March 25, 2010
Animals, California, Guys, Health & Hygiene, Insults, On the phone

My Husband's Chickening Out

Woman to clerk: My turkeys are ruining my marriage!

California

Posted on March 17, 2010
Animals, California, Relationships, Weirdness, Women

The Goal Is to Prevent That, Not Hasten It

Son, in dog food aisle: Why don't we buy this one?
Mom: Because he won't eat it.
Son: But it's cheaper!
Mom: And therefore not good for him.
Son: I don't see what the problem is, he'll be dead soon.

Tesco Supermarket
England

Posted on February 27, 2010
Animals, Death & dying, England, Food, Moms, Shopping, Should have used a condom

Or There'll Be No Peace When You Are Done

Girl #1: I have cows in my head!
Boy: What?
Girl #1: We're playing “Carry on Wayward Son” in orchestra. C-o-w-s.
Boy: Oh.
Girl #2: You really need to tell people that before you tell them you have cows in your head.

St. Joseph High School
Michigan