Skinny Asian girl: These shorts are way too big.
Plus-sized white friend: Oh no, I have skinny-ass legs. My life sucks. What am I going to do?
Skinny Asian girl: (laughs)
St. Joseph, Michigan
Skinny Asian girl: These shorts are way too big.
Plus-sized white friend: Oh no, I have skinny-ass legs. My life sucks. What am I going to do?
Skinny Asian girl: (laughs)
St. Joseph, Michigan
Mother to son: Don't you talk to me that way! I'll put my finger anywhere I want to!
Turtle Back Zoo
West Orange, New Jersey
Overheard by: lickety-split
Girl to friends: So, when I was 6, I took my golden retriever's rectal temperature with a tire pressure gauge.
Nice Restaurant
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Dumb freshman girl: Why does being castrated make your voice high?
Friar professor: Talk to someone after class.
Seattle University
Washington
Overheard by: facepalm
Sleazy 40-something drunk, pointing and laughing at embarrassed 20-something: And then he got poo all over his knob!
20-something: For fuck's sake dad! Shut up!
Red Light District
Amsterdam
Overheard by: Bleep
Little girl: Can I have the nose now?
Guy: Yeah, sure, it probably has everyone's snot on it now, though.
Older girl: Ew! Oh my gosh, mental image!
Guy: What do you want me to say? I'm speaking their language.
Older girl: Say “nose… products.” It has “nose products.”
Guy, laughing hysterically: Nose products?
Older girl: Yes, nose products.
Little girl, holding out fake vampire teeth: Here, take my mouth products.
Kids' Playground
Manhattan, New York
Girl on phone: But I don't have a mustache…
Colorado State University
Woman: I guess it depends on the kind of tumor. A baby's kind of like a tumor, drains your body of all nutrients. It's like having an alien parasite.
UW Rock County
Janesville, Wisconsin
Overheard by: Akuaku
Female college girl: She asked me “what's a vagina?”
Montreal
Quebec
Canadia
Toy store employee: Wait, so which one has the butthole?
Mall
New Jersey
Overheard by: thinking of the children
