Stoner lesbian: I bet if you like, took the time to scrape all the resin off my brain…and my lungs too. Yeah, all the resin from my brain and lungs and smoke it… You could get really really high.
Cumberland, Maine
Overheard by: Jade
Stoner lesbian: I bet if you like, took the time to scrape all the resin off my brain…and my lungs too. Yeah, all the resin from my brain and lungs and smoke it… You could get really really high.
Cumberland, Maine
Overheard by: Jade
Tanorexic blonde on date: So basically the fucking doctor told me that my cervix is fucked up.
Uncomfortable-looking date: Right…
Tanorexic blonde on date: Yeah. Cunt told me that it'd be like pushing a baby through a toothpaste tube. I gotta go get it widened or some shit like that. Or that thing where they cut you open…
Uncomfortable-looking date: A caesarian?
Tanorexic blonde on date: Yeah. That's it. Baby kebab.
Leamington Spa
England
Girl, about guy in Jason Vorhees mask coming on stage during Halloween skit: I always recognize James* by his thighs.
St. Peter's College
New Jersey
Serious hipster chick #1: So she shot him in the leg, because that was her training.
Serious hipster chick #2 (nodding understandingly): Uh-huh.
Serious hipster chick #1: And then they ended up lying feet to feet.
Art Opening
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Terry B
Boyfriend to boyfriend: Yesterday Hughes came over and, well, exploded my brain, basically. I was like “ahh!”
Toronto
Canadia
Overheard by: laughing on the inside
Hot chick on cell: He kissed me teeth-first. It was like kissing a lawn mower.
Newark, Delaware
Professor, discussing sperm's passage to egg: “Come and chase me!” That's what the woman says.
Saint Peter's College
New Jersey
Little boy, singing: Should I stay or should I go now? If I stay I’ll eat your armpits!
Newton, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Amy
Little girl, right before fireworks begin: Daddy, I can see perfectly through that tall man's head.
Walt Disney World
Orlando, Florida
Guy: So, I tore my ACL.
Over-enthusiastic friend: Tell ’em how you did it!
Guy: Masturbating!
University of Arizona
Tucson, Arizona
Overheard by: Victoria
