Girl: I wish I had a lovable face. My face is deceitful.
Bakersfield, California
Overheard by: Sarah
Girl: I wish I had a lovable face. My face is deceitful.
Bakersfield, California
Overheard by: Sarah
Blonde girl: Whats with the eye patch?
Girl with eye patch: Oh my god, I tried to take out my contact but it was already out, so I ended up peeling off my cornea or something!
Blonde girl: Ew! You should wear two contacts, so that doesn't happen again.
Carbondale, Illinois
Overheard by: screaming on the inside
Guy to friend: Well, some armpits smell good, too.
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Turtle
Comic book artist: Is the word “stab” or “poink” best for a dog nose being inserted into someone's butt?
Group of coworkers in unison, very serious: “Poink,” definitely.
Portland, Oregon
Cub Scout #1: Your dad has hairy arms.
Cub Scout #2: You know what else is hairy? His penis!
Cub Scout #1: Yeah. So is my mom’s.
Cub Scout Camp
Pennsylvania
Guy #1, gesturing: …in a martini glass.
Guy #2: That's disgusting! Why did you do that?
Guy #1: Because he had a broken jaw.
Guy #2: I know, but why were you doing that? Community service?
Bus Stop
San Diego, California
50-something woman to friend: She's got a phenomenal voice–when she sings, it's like she has gills instead of lungs.
http://www.violaraptor.co.uk/2007/12/quotebook-2007/
Overheard by: Raptor
Dude, after receiving dickhead hat on 50th birthday: Hey, look! My double chin looks like a pair of balls in a nutsack!
Columbia, Missouri
Overheard by: Tiger Fan
50-something man to another: I got a bunion you could hang a hat off of.
Durand Eastman Golf Course
Rochester, New York
Guy #1: What is that?
Guy #2, holding sunscreen: Oh, it's sport sunscreen. My mom made bring it.
Guy #3: Dude. Why do you have so many ointments?
Guy #2: The back of my legs get burnt.
Guy #1: You moisturize?
Canada's Wonderland
Vaughan, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: Shan
