Ashley Olsen Dating Lance Armstrong Was the Final Nail in the Coffin

Preppy girl #1: So the Apocalypse is totally going to happen… It's scary.
Preppy girl #2: Yeah, I know, right?

High School Hall
Ontario
Canadia

Posted on June 20, 2015
Canadia, Default, Fears, Girls, Preppies, Religion, School [Elem., Middle, & High], Threats

Elena's the Most Creative Pimp in Canadia

Oldish Ukrainian woman: How you have babies with hips like this? How you do this? So skinny. Tsk, tsk.
Skinny chick: Huh?
Oldish Ukrainian woman: Here, eat my husband's sausage. He fill you up. Eat! Eat!

Edmonton
Alberta
Canadia

Overheard by: not so skinny

Posted on June 18, 2015
Birthing, Canadia, Chicks, Food, Offers and requests, Old folks, Penis, Questions, Skinny people, Weirdness, Women

My Campaign Would Be Like Whoopi Goldberg's Marriage to Ted Danson

Very white English major girl: I could never be a politician. I'd be all like “bitch, you're trippin' balls. Sit yo' fat toupeed ass down!”

Universisty Station
Calgary
Canadia

Posted on June 17, 2015
Ass, Canadia, Drugs, Girls, Insults, Politics

But I’m an Only Child

Mom: You know, you’re a strange duck.
Three-year-old son: Yeah? Well, you have a big nose! [Laughs hysterically.]Mom: Out of all my kids, I like you the least.

City bus
Winnipeg, Manitoba
Canadia

Overheard by: Sarah

Posted on June 17, 2015
Canadia, Insults, Moms

I Still Can’t Believe I Dated Him

Chick: … And then the party, like, totally got out of control — they wanted to put firecrackers in the snake tank! And then my dad kicked everyone out. He didn’t actually say anything, he just draped the snake over his shoulders and walked around looking at people with, like, six feet of snake on him.
Friend: Is this one of those stories about how your dad is a bad influence?

Montreal, Quebec
Canadia

Posted on June 16, 2015
Canadia, Chicks, Gossip

How About “Bacterial Infections Are for Pussies”?

College girl #1: You know how that rumor got started? Because you denied him. It happened to my mom in high school.
College girl #2: “Just because I didn't sleep with you doesn't mean I have chlamydia!” I so need a shirt that says that.

London
Ontario
Canadia

Posted on June 14, 2015
Canadia, Clothes, Education, Family ties, Gripes, Sex, Sorority types, STDs

…I Was Born to Be a Reality-Show Contestant

Skinny girl: My sister is on a diet now, I don't like it. First she's taller than me, but that's okay, I got over it. I just don't want her to be skinnier than me.
Guy friend: You should be happy for her.
Skinny girl: No way! I'm below that.

Vancouver
Canadia

Posted on June 13, 2015
Canadia, Compare and contrast, Diet & weight, Family ties, Friends, Girls, Guys, Happiness, Skinny people, Stupidity

She Always Wanted a Boy.

Girl to friends: I've always wanted to dress up like Jesus… My grandmother would be so proud of me.

St. John's
Newfoundland
Canadia

Posted on June 12, 2015
Canadia, Clothes, Compare and contrast, Default, Family ties, Girls, Jesus, Offers and requests

Where Canadian Bacon Comes From?

60-something man, watching obese woman board bus, loudly: So fat!
30-something woman, quietly: Yeah, sometimes it might be genetics or something. Not just cured by exercise, you know?
60-something man, loudly: I try to avoid getting too close to people who are that fat. I'm scared they'll just explode and innards will get all over me!
30-something woman: (disgusted look)

London
Canadia

Overheard by: On the bus

Posted on June 11, 2015
Canadia, Character, Diet & weight, Feelings, Guys, Weirdness, Women

And We Were All Like, “Fine, But Guess What Happened on Gossip Girl!”

Girl, to friends: So then she e-mailed us all, and she was like, “We just ate an African baby!”

Memorial University
St. John's
Newfoundland, Canadia

Overheard by: Mel

Posted on June 10, 2015
Canadia, Colleges & Universities, Default, E-mail, Food, Geography, Girls, Kids, Weirdness