Canadia

100-pound, totally fit wife: I am pretty sure I have elevated sodium levels.
Husband: Your sodium levels are fine, honey.
100-pound, totally fit wife: No, I really think they are high enough to put me in the at-risk category.
Husband: What are you basing that on, exactly?
100-pound, totally fit wife: My tongue feels oversalted.

Toronto
Canadia

Overheard by: kingdubby

Female salesperson: I keep all my secrets in my Furby!

Toy Store
Toronto
Canadia

Overheard by: i keep mine in tupperware

Mexican drag queen hosting a show: It's St. Patrick's day tomorrow…
Crowd: It's today!
Mexican drag queen: Is it tonight? I never know these things, I don't watch the news!

Gay Bar
Toronto
Canadia

Bus-riding teen #1: Fully grown adult males are, like, five inches! I'm telling you!
Bus-riding teen #2: No way! Tom is, like, ten inches when it's hard and, like, eight when it's soft!
Bus-riding teen #1: Do you want me to get my dad and check?

Toronto
Canadia

Girl to friend: There's a book you might be interested in, called What Color Is Your Parish.

Toronto
Canadia

Overheard by: mine's ultraviolence

Loud high school chick in back of the bus: Remember when Amanda was wearing that skirt and she farted? It sounded like she dropped a fucking bomb! Wheeee-boom! Everyone applauded, it was that fucking cool.

Alberta
Canadia

Overheard by: bitingontinfoil

Mother: These sheets smell weird.
Child, enthusiastically: Yeah, like other people's houses!

Thrift Store, St. John's
Newfoundland
Canadia

Overheard by: Sandy

Annoyingly talkative woman: I got my pumpkin t-shirt at Old Navy eight years ago. I wear it every year. But I've only worn it… eight times!

Commuter Train
Toronto
Canadia

Overheard by: M@

Young ice cream customer: I'm going to get a large sundae.
Competitive young ice cream customer: Oh, yeah? I once had a sundae that was so big it was…it was… (thinks about it) up to the top of Jesus!

Dairy Queen
Victoria
Canadia

Overheard by: bemused in Dairy Queen

Guy: Nothing, nothing turns me on more than Jurassic Park-themed role play.

Queen's University
Kingston, Canadia

Overheard by: Kat