But Why Would You Trust Her After She Traded Your Cow for Magic Beans?

Dude #1: So yeah, Kayla* got me kicked off the ski trip because I gave her ten bucks to buy some food. And she bought scissors. Fucking scissors. And apparently I'm not stable enough to have scissors and they think I'll fucking stab someone with them. And she gave me back $2.48 in change. The scissors were from the fucking dollar store. They couldn't have been that expensive. Next time she sits on my lap in math class I'm gonna call her a pick-pocket.
Dude #2: Okay, great story. Now shut the fuck up. I missed half the fucking dialogue of Cloverfield.

West Edmonton Mall
Edmonton, Alberta
Canadia

Overheard by: Trying to watch Cloverfield

Posted on September 3, 2008
Canadia, Default, Friends, Guys, Malls, Mental illnesses, Movies, Names, Violence

Perhaps the Most Horrifying Win-Win Ever

(outside the university library)
Guy #1: So you scored.
Guy #2: And I know the holocaust inside and out.

Halifax, Nova Scotia
Canadia

Posted on August 27, 2008
Canadia, Compare and contrast, Default, Euphemisms, Guys, History, Sex, Weirdness

This Christening Is Going to Rock

Girl to friend: I mean, they have everything. I don't need anything… they have gold, knives, drugs…
Friend: (nods in agreement)

Shopper's Drug Mart
Toronto
Canadia

Posted on August 25, 2008
Canadia, Default, Drugs, Friends, Girls, Shopping, Weirdness

Preschool Storytime Is Very Different in Canadia

Teacher: There was this black guy streaking at night. I mean, it's not like you could see anything!

Canadia

Posted on August 24, 2008
Canadia, Default, Race, Stupidity, Teachers

Seymour Glass Was Such a Sensitive Child

Little boy (pointing to a plastic butterfly): Mommy, what's that?
Mom: That's a butterfly. Do you like butterflies?
Little boy (timidly): No…
Mom: Why not?
Little boy: They hurt me.

The Mall
Victoria
Canadia

Posted on August 19, 2008
Canadia, Default, Fears, Insects, Kids, Malls, Moms, Violence

Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Girls But Were Afraid to Ask

Teen girl #1: Ugh, I get so gassy when I'm on my rag.
Teen girl #2: I'm just gassy all the time!
Teen girl #1: Ugh, I know.

Toronto
Ontario
Canadia

Posted on August 15, 2008
Canadia, Default, Gender issues, Girls, Gripes, Sensory experiences, Teens

Then How Come the Teacher Won't Let Us Wear Red?

Guy in men's room: Come on, it's first year Spanish, not life on the streets.

University of Guelph
Canadia

Posted on August 12, 2008
Canadia, Colleges & Universities, Compare and contrast, Default, Education, Guys

If the Whole Prime Minister Thing Doesn't Work Out

Guy #1: Let's become a band of traveling acrobats!
Guy #2: …yes.

Toronto
Canadia

Posted on August 7, 2008
Canadia, Default, Guys, Jobs & Careers, Offers and requests, Wishes

Much Like Right Said Fred

Two-year-old boy: I'm too sexy for my shirt, too sexy for my shirt! So sexy!
Eight-year-old brother: He doesn't know what it means, he just does it for attention.

Canadia

Overheard by: Amused Babysitter

Posted on August 2, 2008
Canadia, Clothes, Default, Kids, Music, Siblings, Words

Seems Like It’s Every Freaking Month

Girl: Oh, and guess what else happened?
Boyfriend: What?
Girl: I got my period again! What the hell?!

Eaton Centre, Toronto
Ontario
Canadia

Posted on July 27, 2008
Canadia, Default, Gender issues, Girls, Guys, Questions