Colleges & Universities

Loud man on cell: Harvard is the crusty nipple of liberalism.

Colorado University
Denver, Colorado

Law student: So, listen. He went to get a manicure the other day and I was like, you know, “how was it?” He was like, “oh, it was good and all, but she was rubbing my arm and I kinda started getting turned on.” And I was like, “what?” He said “yeah, and it was kinda weird because she was this 50-year-old Asian woman.”

Mississippi College School of Law

English professor: “My wife, Bob, is pregnant.” Polygamy, pregnant men, gay marriage–it's got it all!

University of Rock County
Wisconsin

Overheard by: Aku

Girl to friends: I thought I was playing hard to get, but it turns out I was playing “I hate you”.

Elon University
Elon, North Carolina

Political science professor: Our president is black. Some of you may have noticed this. Some of you probably haven't yet.

California State University
San Marcos, California

Overheard by: I knew it

Skateboarder in large banana suit: We put the ‘ass’ in ‘potassium’!

Ohio State University
Ohio

Professor: You don't want to have a thin-skinned Prime Minister who's afraid of puffin poo.

University of Ottawa
Canadia

American history professor: So this Bacon guy died of the flux. Or as I like to say, he shat himself to death.

University Of Louisiana
Monroe, Louisiana

Overheard by: a bored Am. History student

Girl: Are you seriously telling me how I should masturbate? When did you become a sex tyrant?

MIT
Cambridge, Massachusetts

Drunk bimbette: We’re s’posed to be so ladylike… Why do girls have to be so ghetto and stab each other all the time?

York University
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia

Overheard by: A and A