Girl to cross-dressing friends: …and then my butt scared him.
Gay Club
Denver, Colorado
College girl #1: I washed this shirt and it got, like, bigger!
College girl #2: Well, at least you can wear it with tights now.
College girl #1: I know, but I don't want to look like a slut.
College girl #2: I feel like I look less slutty when I wear my sunglasses.
Boulder, Colorado
Girl to friend: Sorry about your vagina, but I'm sure the dog is okay.
Bar
Colorado
Chick to cop interrupting honor students' discussion: Oh, um, we were just talking about how we would cover up a murder.
Cop, laughing: Oh, you would not believe how many times I've heard that…
Metro State College
Denver, Colorado
Dude: It's not racial profiling, because every black person breaks the law.
High School Classroom
Englewood, Colorado
Dude #1: We win. Majority rules.
Chick: But Erin* agrees with me! It’s a tie!
Dude #1: Yeah, but you’re women. No one cares about your opinion.
Dude #2: Unless you could put it in some sort of sandwich form.
High school classroom
Englewood, Colorado
Guy #1: Sometimes it's hard being a guy.
Guy #2: Why is that?
Guy #1: Well, I try to stay focused and get shit done, but every time a female walks by I feel obligated to turn around and check out her tits and ass. I just want to get through a project without being distracted by tits and ass.
Guy #2: Yeah, but don't you worry you might miss the world's greatest tits and ass?
Guy #1: Exactly!
Denver, Colorado
Overheard by: sean
Dude: That guy totally has a gun.
Chick (offended): Just because he has sunglasses doesn't mean he has a gun!
High School
Englewood, Colorado
Vice principal: Listen up, everyone! The rules of the school also apply at the bowling alley. If you smoke, drink, or do drugs, we will call the cops. If you break anything, you will have to pay. If you hump the ball machine for the sake of irony, you will be sent home. That means you, Aaron*!
Aaron*: Aw, man!
High School
Englewood, Colorado
Chick #1: Do you want some peanut M&Ms?
Chick #2: No, thanks.
Chick #1: They touched my crotch.
Chick #2: In that case, sure!
High School Bus
Englewood, Colorado
Overheard by: Julia
