Barista #1: So, I had this totally fucked up dream last night. I was, like, having sexual relations with my brother…
Barista #2, totally serious: That’s not weird.
Barista #1: I know, but the weird thing was everyone around me was really uncomfortable with it.
Fort Collins, Colorado
Overheard by: I’m uncomfortable even hearing it
Teenage daughter: Mom, I have a plan for my future.
Mother: And what's that?
Teenage daughter: Save someone's life so they are indebted to me and will buy me the complete Twilight Zone boxed set.
Mother: Between this and your brother who I haven't seen in four days, I don't think I screwed up at all.
Highlands Ranch, Colorado
Overheard by: Julia
TSA guy #1: Why aren’t you patting everyone down?
TSA guy #2: That’s what the machines are for.
TSA guy #1: Do you see the machines working?! Do you see anyone walking through the machines?!
TSA guy #2: Oh. Oops. Oh, well, it happens.
Denver International Airport
Denver, Colorado
Overheard by: Stephanie
College girl #1: I washed this shirt and it got, like, bigger!
College girl #2: Well, at least you can wear it with tights now.
College girl #1: I know, but I don't want to look like a slut.
College girl #2: I feel like I look less slutty when I wear my sunglasses.
Boulder, Colorado
Girl to friend: Sorry about your vagina, but I'm sure the dog is okay.
Bar
Colorado
Chick to cop interrupting honor students' discussion: Oh, um, we were just talking about how we would cover up a murder.
Cop, laughing: Oh, you would not believe how many times I've heard that…
Metro State College
Denver, Colorado
Dude: It's not racial profiling, because every black person breaks the law.
High School Classroom
Englewood, Colorado
Dude #1: We win. Majority rules.
Chick: But Erin* agrees with me! It’s a tie!
Dude #1: Yeah, but you’re women. No one cares about your opinion.
Dude #2: Unless you could put it in some sort of sandwich form.
High school classroom
Englewood, Colorado
Guy #1: Sometimes it's hard being a guy.
Guy #2: Why is that?
Guy #1: Well, I try to stay focused and get shit done, but every time a female walks by I feel obligated to turn around and check out her tits and ass. I just want to get through a project without being distracted by tits and ass.
Guy #2: Yeah, but don't you worry you might miss the world's greatest tits and ass?
Guy #1: Exactly!
Denver, Colorado
Overheard by: sean
