Young ice cream customer: I'm going to get a large sundae.
Competitive young ice cream customer: Oh, yeah? I once had a sundae that was so big it was…it was… (thinks about it) up to the top of Jesus!
Dairy Queen
Victoria
Canadia
Overheard by: bemused in Dairy Queen
Teacher to students: And then you thought we were going to an imaginary place…but it was Louisiana!
High School English Class
Sweden
Overheard by: It was real?
Woman: You should shop at Lane Bryant!
Girl: Mom, that's a fat girls store!
Woman: I shopped there when I was 17, and you're much fatter that I was!
Hendersonville, Tennessee
Overheard by: Tanner
Sober teen: The mall is, like, all about clothes now.
Towson, Maryland
Overheard by: Sven Johnson
Little girl, waiting for a ride home from school: What is my mother doing that's more important than me?
Beverly Hills, California
Overheard by: Anon Y. Mouse
Guy on phone: Yes, they light on fire. Yes, I won't do it in my room.
Saratoga, California
Girl: Oh my god, Amanda*, I haven't seen you in so long. I feel like I'm making bad decisions because I haven't seen you.
Amanda*: Ha, I feel like I'm making too many good decisions because I haven't seen you. We need to get me in more trouble. And maybe keep you out of it.
Hamilton, New Jersey
Overheard by: Currrly!
Hipster to boyfriend: There are certain places that you expect a woman's nipples to be, and hers were not in any of those places.
Cedar Rapids, Iowa
Guy: I am making this shitty 50% less sodium Progresso chicken noodle soup. Tastes like penis!
Girl: Always an appealing taste.
Guy: If I ever get a twitter, that's my first status.
Girl: I'm tempted to get one. (pause) A twitter, not a penis.
University of Kansas
Faculty master: You know, our building won the sportsmanship award this year. It wasn't thanks to me, though. Some kid kicked a ball out of bounds, and I yelled “you play soccer like a freshman that's never had sex!”
Faculty Master Dinner
USC, California
